madwoman

First Love.

2005-10-26T07:33:00.000+08:00

Rarely do I feel cheesy or overly-romantic and today is one of the few times. Remember how they say "First love never dies."? I guess it's true. We all have our share of childhood sweetheart memories, the days when you can't seem to put yourself to sleep and you can't even eat well, you can't focus on anything coz all you can think of is when you will next see him/her. (cue in: "Di na makatulog...di pa makakain...taghiyawat sa ilong, pati na sa pisngi..sa kakaisip sayo, taghiyawat dumarami...") You cry over simple things like how he ignores you or when you see him with another girl and you can't do anything coz, of course, he does not even know you exist...You have a list of love songs you dedicate to him, you watch all his basketball games or maybe when he plays with his band during school programs, you shriek like crazy and call him to catch his attention but, still, he fails to notice you. Well, these and many other things, suck.

I was in grade school when I first felt this. I never knew that a 9-year old prepubescent girl could actually get hurt and feel extreme pain, the kind that makes you lie on your bed, roll into a ball, and cry yourself to sleep. I was 9 years old then. I made a fool of myself...and let me add that I was the happiest fool! He was who we considered as "crush ng bayan", I was the negritang, payatot na malaki ang mata. (Yeah, I was thin then. Believe me!) I wrote him love letters, but only one reached him. And the outcome was not a pretty sight. That was one of my major heartbreaks. And when someone asked me to sign an autograph, I wrote down his full name right beside the questions "Who is your crush?" and "Who is your first love?" I was his biggest fan. Waking up early in the morning was a breeze coz I know I would see him again. I was inspired to study well so as not to be cut off from the star section. (That is a clue. Well, actually almost everyone I know in grade school naman knows who I'm talking about.) This went on for a couple of years and then I just gave up. My pillows were stained with tears, my diaries were full of hatred, anger and depression, my heart was broken into pieces. No, it's not because we became a couple and we broke up. How I wish! Haha! I needed to end the madness. He never knew about any of these. He never had the slightest idea. I guess. I just needed to end it coz the more I held on the more painful everything was.

I denied the feelings but I know that it went on 'til 4th year high school. Oh gosh, it just occured to me...I loved him for 8 long years! He had girlfriends who I envied for so long. I loved him secretly. I lived my fantasies in my dreams. And then, I had to attend college...the start of real life, as they say...Forgetting everything was much easier. He was no longer in the same classroom as I was. I forced him out of my mind and out of my system. I was able to breathe smoothly after so many years...

See, I had my puppy love...Though it was not a 2-way thing. I am sincerely thankful that I had experienced such a thing. It sucked but it sucked beautifully. First love never dies. In my case and in my own opinion, the love for that certain person who you put on a pedestal died...but the experience will remain forever..the kind that you will cherish and hold dearly to your heart. The kind that will still make you shiver with excitement...the kind that will still make you smile when you reminisce about everything...

And now that the "cheesy, overly-romantic mood" is over and I have read this from the top....EEEEWWWWW!!!!

Manila, ZARA is coming...

2005-10-14T04:16:00.000+08:00

If you have already passed by EDSA, somewhere in Guadalupe, you might have seen my name posted on a billboard...My dream is slowly coming true...And that is to have my face posted all over the Greater Manila Area. (OK na rin kahit strand lang ng buhok ko. Basta alam kong ako yun.) And now my name has finally made it...

I hesitated at first...But they offered me millions of euros...who can resist that amount of money? They asked me if I can do modelling jobs for them and I answered...(you can quote me on this.) "Is my name not enough for you, guys? I want to maintain a low-profile. I'm not ready yet."

No one knows that it was named after me, none until now. Lucky are those who read this blog. You are one of the few people who are directly connected to me ala 1st degree friends of Friendster. Now, now...I'll just post a picture with my signature on it. You might want to frame it up as it might cost millions soon.

Ciao!

***That was my alter-ego writing a while ago.

July took a picture of the ad while driving by EDSA. It actually feels weird seeing your name while stuck on a traffic jam. How much more if it is your whole body? While wearing nothing but undies? And is focusing more on your cleavage?

Oh, and by the way, Zara is actually a world-renowned Spanish women's brand which will open a store in November at the Powerplant Mall. A bit frustrating to admit it, but no, it was not named after me.

Another year.

2005-10-12T07:37:00.000+08:00

Yep. I just turned 23. Shit. Another year has passed and I haven't accomplished anything big I could truly be proud of. Well, save for the fact that I am still working at IHG (the longest I've stayed in a company) but I'm not pretty sure if it counts. Anyway, as they always say...It's not your destination that counts, what's really important is your journey in reaching that destination. Or something to that effect??? Hehe...

Lessons I've learned at the age of 22:

1. Get rid of some of your old things. Yes, I understand that sometimes a lot of old stuff hold sentimental value but then again when you have the tendency to move houses twice in a year, better kiss them goodbye and give them away.

2. Nothing will happen if you just rant about things like how your job sucks, how you want to live abroad, how you're getting fat, how your stretch marks are getting longer and wider than the San Juanico Bridge..etc..etc..Do something about it! Start with a positive outlook in life. And stick to the old trick..."I CAN DO THIS...I CAN DO THIS!" and of course, use moisturizer!

3. Age 22 might be the lowest of the lowest point of the so-called quarter life crisis...But this should never eat you up alive. Breathe it out. It's a stage. It's normal. It's like pimples, they're made to piss you off but there are ways to get rid of them. (Try Panoxyl, by the way...for pimples!)

4. Sometimes living with friends is far much better than living with your own relatives. (In my case, that is.)

5. Money is the root of all evil. I've learned this in Christian Living way back in elementary but I never believed it...well, not until now. Proven and tested.

6. When you have the urge to cut your hair short, do it! When you feel like going on a spur of the moment vacation, go for it! When you're itching to sing "I Will Survive" in a videoke bar in front of a huge audience, do so! Life is too short for second thoughts...

7. Have your toenails pedicured before attending a VTR. You might have focused more on your hair and make-up and it's far too late for you to know that the casting director needs to see and scrutinize your feet. Hehe.

8. As always, ass-kissing bitches are always around. They are made to torment and torture you. Just put on your most indifferent look or better yet smile at them, trust me...this works! Haha!

9. SMILE always SMILE. Give lots of hugs and kisses and compliments...they create a happy and gay mood!

10. Some things are better left unsaid. Enough?

October 8

Everything was planned the day before my birthday...We're going to pig out at Dampa in Pque then go to Tagaytay for coffee but THEN...Darwin texted me..."Zara, may malaki akong kasalanan sayo...Malaki ang chance na hindi ako makasama kasi mago-OT kami tomorrow.Sorry..." We can't go to Pque and of course not to Tagaytay without Dar's trusted Revo. There's just too many of us... Damn you, McCann Erickson!! You ruined my birthday!! Damn you!!!!

Anyway, we went to Gerry's Park Square instead and I just hope everyone enjoyed their dinner. We took lots of pictures, had a lot of fun, laitan, bangayan, tsismisan...Then we went to our house and had some drinks, played charades, more laitan and bangayan, watched Amityville...I missed college life...I'm 23!!!!AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Si Cha-Cha sinisilip 'to...pero hindi para sa kanya!

2005-10-04T08:06:00.000+08:00

I heard some not-so-good news about a person so dear to me. Some low-life beings wrote pretty nasty things about her on the walls of the comfort rooms in our school. She's still in college. I know she sometimes wastes some of her precious time reading my beloved blog. So this is for you...you know who you are.

Dear precious star,

Yes, you're a star to us, your friends. As you probably noticed at the beginning of this post I regarded the news as NOT-SO-GOOD, not BAD, not HORRIBLE..but NOT-SO-GOOD. Yeah, I know..I'm losing my train of thoughts. Anyway, take it from someone who had been through the same experience...people who can't appreciate you and can't do nothing but call you names, bully you around, look down on you or who are just plain mean to you, they are your angels! Why? Listen. Sorry, read on...

I have always, always been lucky with my set of friends. We were never branded the "POPULAR, MEAN GIRLS". Sure, we were once called the "CHARMED ONES", especially during the first day of school when we met our new blockmates. But people had always enjoyed our company (Keep your mouth shut if you didn't! Kidding!). We never ever made anyone's life miserable..(UNLESS, the situation badly needs it. FEEL OUR WRATH!!!) I never did, coz I knew how it felt.

There was this girl who hated me like she hated the dirt in her fingernails. I can't tell the reason coz it would take forever to do so. Anyway, she was kind to me. I THOUGHT she was. But hell no! She was like a slithering snake who would strike you from behind and poison you until you die. She spread horrible gossips about me. She wrote nasty, below-the-belt things on the walls of the same comfort rooms you can see yours now. Things like "Zara, you're fat, black and ugly." I resisted the urge to correct it and change black to dark. You don't call people black. Dark is the right term to use, hello! Those things started when I was in 2nd year college. And then I learned that my name also invaded the comfort rooms of our main library. At first, they did bother me a lot. Why are they doing this? What have I done to deserve this? So and so. But afterwards, I actually enjoyed reading them. I remember how I felt giddy whenever I entered the restroom. Everyday for the next 3 years I got excited when I felt the urge to go weewee. Why would I be affected by such things? Did she realize that by writing those, she made me a better and of course STRONGER person? Did it occur to her that she also made me 10x popular (not that I care about popularity at all.)? Am I that important for her to exert such effort and waste time and pen ink? What was it that made her fire up and be greatly, undeniably affected by moi? True, she was one of tallest in our batch (if I remember it correctly, she was actually the tallest.), she had this flawless, perfect skin, the body of a model. But come to think of it...what did I have that ignited such insecurities? Something or someone precious, perhaps..*winks* I knew who she was but I did not do anything about it. Well, save for the looks and stares which almost pierced through her porcelain-like face whenever I saw her in the hallways..hihi. Then maybe she realized that I wouldn't stoop down to her level, she just suddenly stopped. If she hated me that much she should have said it to my face. She should have not taken it on those poor clean doors while taking a piss.

My point? Laugh it all up! Who cares if she hates you? Sometimes, a person hates you coz she wants to be like you! Maybe you're so special that she envies you so much and the fact that she can't take your place is killing her slowly. Also, do not forget that these people help a lot in making you a better person. Love your enemies...Yes, it is still true!

Remember: Don't give up loving. Don't give up your goodness. Even if people around you sting.

But if your patience runs out and she treats you the way "Sadako" did, holler and I'll make her life a living hell! HAHA!

Miss you!

Ate Zar

4 years straight by Gawi and our 5th anniversary!

2005-09-27T07:19:00.000+08:00

I had a sore throat and almost lost my voice 2 weeks ago because of too much shouting, screaming, shrieking and everything else you can think of that involves abusive use of pharynx and larynx. The other thing besides Brad Pitt which can cause this act is the UAAP Cheerdance Competition. It is a yearly tradition for us , I-2, to gather and watch the competition together in one place. I was even surprised to see July and Josh dropping by. Well, that was because July needed to attend a VTR at Cityland which was just one block from our place. There she was, looking gorgeous and ready to face the cameras when all hell broke loose. Nagwala ang lola mo! Hindi ko talaga kinaya ang eksena namin...The neighbors might have thought we were being gang-raped or we were seeing evil spirits lurking in our place...

Now, the following are just plain observations and opinions of a mad Gawi fan...Violent reactions are welcome, though. =)

I will no longer go into details with some of the teams. I'll go straight to when our hands felt sweaty, when goosebumps ran up and down our spines, when nothing could be heard but "AAAAHHHHH!!!!!". First, Adamson's performance was great! They had been performing well for the last few years. We were amazed when we saw their Hawaiian-inspired Nestle Non-stop cheer. We laughed our heads off when NU (which performed after Adamson) used the same song for a few seconds..."Why do birds suddenly appear...everytime you are near..." by The Carpenters. Kinda reminded me of the Spirit Fingers in "Bring it on". Next, FEU...just walking distance from our Alma matter. We had this theory that some of their cheerdancers would go to Espana, peep through some of the holes in our gym and copy the steps they see. But then again, that is just a theory, nothing more, nothing less. Their choreography was excellent this year (as well as last year's). Of course, there's UP, our greatest rival (in cheering nga lang..coz in basketball, I have to admit it..talunan talaga kami!). I did not like the costume, velvet kasi eh. Stunts were executed smoothly and the crowd was really wild! These groups performed before UST. And to be honest, we were really expecting for the worst to happen. Then came our turn...Our courtside reporter announced..."And now, welcome to the Salinggawi Dance Troupe Show!!!" In fairness, medyo mataas ang confidence level! I liked last year's costume better. They did not execute any floor routines...as in yung mega gapang sa sahig ang eksena. Probably because they had use those before and they wanted to present something new. Overall, without being biased or anything, they were excellent! They wowed the audience with their Non-Stop gimmick. My words will do no justice. Roar 4 More indeed! Wait for them next season...Something to look forward to!

And good luck to you, dear July on your TV commercial! Hope you get it!

On our 5th year.

I don't wanna be cheesy or anything but here it goes...

Sweetpea,

Thanks a million for staying.

Let's see...another 5 years, perhaps?

I'm sorry for being the drama queen that I am. I simply can't help it.

Love you!

(dapat nung 25th pa. Walang oras.)

5 things and a lot more

2005-09-15T08:56:00.000+08:00

I need to get my mind off some things. I've been contemplating on engaging myself to some activities to keep me intact. Watching DVDs doesn't help much plus my eye sight is getting worse. FYI: I have 600/550 eye sight!

I'm interested in doing any of the following: (better yet, all of these...)

1. Enrolling in Fitness First-Reality check though, this will cost me a lot. With gym attire, bag, rubber shoes to keep in mind as well. But I'll still give this a thought. I need to burn excess fats anyway.

2. Taking dance lessons (would be great if it's with Powerdance)- Hell, I terribly miss dancing. You know how everyone has something he's really proud of coz he knows he's good at it. Well, dancing is something I can truly say I'm good at. And it gets so depressing at times whenever I realize I don't dance as often as I did before.

3. Learning how to play badminton-My blood needs to circulate!!!!

4. Indulging myself to body massages-Who wouldn't want to?

5. Ramp modelling. HAHA! Yeah, right!

Anyway, I was in Glorietta last Sunday. I drank my first Coffee Jelly Frapuccino in two months. Such deprivation! We saw Georgina Wilson (who is she? One of the sought after models AT THE MOMENT. Coz they just come and go) I was starstrucked! She was buying shoes at SM department store. How cool was that?

We ate at Chef 'd Angelo (recommended by Jab, my officemate). How could I possibly not notice this restaurant before? We ordered Sample Platter 1: Chicken with BBQ sauce, spaghetti, pizza. Loved all of it! Well, except for the onion rings which were too saggy and the slices looked like "panggisa". Not rings, but half rings.

Out of Cha's curiosity coz Monica Belucci was in the movie, we saw "The Brothers Grimm". I love watching movies so much but for heaven's sake I did not enjoy this one! I swear I slept for a couple of minutes. Still an addition to my bag of experiences.

What else? Oh yeah, we're going to watch Lovestruck this weekend. Yes, Lovestruck as in starring the Starstruck survivors. Teehee...

And one last thing...have you ever felt uneasy, uncomfortable and even distressed and you can't put yourself to sleep coz you want to buy something but you know you can't (well, to start off...you don't have the money)? Multiply the feeling by 10...that's how I feel right now...And all because of this...

Introducing...the newest model...Ipod NANO!

I get this, I swear I'm going to give up eating chicharon na may laman. (For a couple of years lang.)

I've been tagged!

2005-09-13T03:52:00.000+08:00

Seven Things That Scare Me
1) Fear itself.
2) Life's drama.
3) Horrible things my mind can think of.
4) coffin-like elevators
5) ipis na lumilipad
6) old age
7) myself (sometimes)

Seven Things I Like The Most
1) music
2) dancing
3) ipod or zen
4) travelling
5) shoes
6) books (currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha, highly recommended!)
7) my DVD collection esp FRIENDS

Seven Random Facts About Me
1) I can be manipuative but you won't notice it.
2) No, I'm not a bitch. But when the situation needs it, BEWARE!
3) I've been living independently since 2nd year college.
4) I sleep with my eyes open.
5) I had my tongue pierced.
6) I am bisexual.
7) I have a third nipple! Guess where it is.

Seven Important Things In My Bedroom
1) Bed and lotsa pillows
2) Books
3) Playing cards (Pusoy dos para antukin)
4) Glow in the dark moon and stars. (wala lang)
5) Contact Lens and solution
6) Eyeglasses
7) Orasan at wala pa kami nun

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1) Travel
2) Bungee jump
3) Be a licensed scuba diver
4) Be a ramp model (oo, plano ko talaga yan!)
5) Have a place in Italy or the Bahamas
6) Own a Jaguar
7) Send an orphan to school

Seven Things I Can Do
1) I can dance.
2) I can give a good piece of advice.
3) I can name all 50 states.
4) I can ride even the tallest and the fastest rollercoasters.
5) I can do crazy things with my lips.
6) I can do a British accent.
7) I know how to use my charm. (is this accepted?)

Seven Things I Can't Do
1) I can't clean the toilet.
2) I can't swim well.
3) I can’t and will NOT eat raw food.
4) I can’t type without looking at the keyboard.
5) I can’t kill a mouse.
6) I can’t kiss ass.
7) I can’t resist a good argument.

Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
1) Smile
2) Good Sense of Humor
3) Intelligence
4) Good conversationalist
5) Eyes
6) Cute butt!
7) Gentleman (Chivalry should still exist!)

Seven Things I Say The Most
1) Chenes!
2) In fairness!
3) Yez?
4) Talaga lang ha?
5) Bakla!
6) Oh my god!
7) F*ck!
***Oh shit! I AM Gay!

Seven Celeb Crushes (whether foreign or local)
1) Brad Pitt
2) Jericho Rosales
3) Reynaldo Gianecchini
4) Collin Farrel
5) Sting
6) Jennifer Aniston
7.) Angelina Jolie

Seven People You Want To Take This Quiz
***Well, everyone who have read this. Di ko alam pano yang tag-tag na yan…pero sumagot na lang tayo lahat!***

Found the time to blog.

2005-09-01T08:26:00.000+08:00

After more than 2 months of experiencing back ache and strained muscles caused by sitting on the floor at what we considered as our sala, the suffering has now ended! Last weekend, 15 minutes of decision making led us to Waltermart and we just saw ourselves buying the most gorgeous sala set (yeah, I'm being biased.). No, really... Thanks to Cha's credit card, our butts may now lay in peace and contentment while watching DVDs and playing pusoy-dos.

Gengkuks, the skirt-wearing, long-legged, i-dont-give-a-damn-what-you-think-of-me friend of mine visited our humble place last Saturday and brought some sad news with her. Sad news 1: her Joseph Fiennes-look-alike French beau will return to his homeland in a week or so..I wish and pray that someone with a good heart gives my friend either a plane ticket to France or $1500 so she may come with her amore. Sad news 2: ABS-CBN had the nerve to kick hard-working, loyal employees out of their company and then spend 300M pesos for a show which I think is a tremendous waste of time and resources at kung san ang mga contestants ay walang ginawa kundi magpa-cute, umiyak, mag-sapawan sa eksena para lang mapansin...Ipagpatuloy nyo lang yan...May I remind you that there's such a thing as KARMA...

We went to Anj's place two weeks ago to attend her birthday celebration. I had almost 3 servings of her mother's popular tapioca. No, this is not about the food, but hell yeah, the food was great, as always (my props to the baked macaroni!). Anyway, as we got off our ride I saw Paolo talking to someone who was driving a van. I rushed to Paolo and gave him my most sincere hug. Yep, I missed his company. I asked him who was inside the van...Hmmm...A long lost friend. Someone I never knew I would see again. Awkwardness filled the air. I could barely move for 2 hours. Then he asked for the lighter...I looked at his eyes. I recalled all the bonding moments we all spent together...Pangasinan, Kagaw Island, Kowloon House...yeah, he may have somewhat caused us to break apart but I still can't deny the fact that he was indeed a good friend. I know that we can never bring back what we had. Sabi nga, may lamat na...To all of my friends, and of course the members of confrat, I love you all!!! You know who you are.

4:15 AM

2005-08-26T04:08:00.000+08:00

Sinong nagsabi na hindi bagay saken ang color yellow at pink? Masyado bang dark ang personality ko? Eh gusto ko din naman ng bright colors eh. Sabi sken ng officemate ko kelangan dumating na din ang time na matigil nako sa kakabago ng layout ng blog na 'to. Nakakaadik kasi eh. Di bale, mag-post nman ang gagawin ko.

Nagtext saken si Mareng Geng nung isang gabi. Nasa Xaymaca sila at andun din si Echo. Isang dura lang daw nya. Medyo nawawala na obsession ko sa kanya. According to the latest chismis , "he made patol to that girl I hate most". Bwiset.

May magandang offer bilang isang Front Office Manager sa isang cruise. Pinag-iisipan ko. Kikita na ko ng maraming pera, makakapagtravel pako. Imagine, isang buwan ka sa Bahamas, tuloy ng Spain, pagkatapos France at kung san-san pa. Ano pang hahanapin ko? Hay, syempre mga kaibigan kong mahal. Di ko ata kaya. Bahala na. May internet kaya sa barko?

Sophie's World binabasa ko ngayon. Gusto kong tigilan na ang pagbasa nun. Halos lahat kasi ng tanong na iniiwasan kong sagutin andun eh. Tuloy, kada-page na matapos ko binababa ko ang libro at iniisip ang sagot sa mga katanungan. Parang tulad ng simpleng tanong na "Who are you?". Leche. Pero dahil sa naadik na ko gusto ko na syang tapusin. Ang gulo!

More than enough...

2005-08-17T08:17:00.000+08:00

The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew it was love at first sight. My heart skipped a beat and my hands felt sweaty. I almost fainted when my blood rushed up my head. I never knew he existed, never even aware that such mortal being is capable of causing turmoil beyond words. I stared at him for the longest time. I wanted to master each and every corner and structure of his beautiful face. He stared back at me indifferently...it's more than enough...just knowing that I deserve a single moment of his time..

The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew right then and there he's different from all others. His smile lingered in my mind...His eyes made me lose control...His image left me breathless...

The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew...he and I will remain strangers to each other...It's more than enough...Just a sight of him once in a day...it's more than enough...

So...since personalized wallpapers are no longer allowed in the office I saved his pictures in our Outlook. 8 hours ago I had no idea that I'll come face to face with him...Now, it's your turn! FEAST ON HIM!!!

REYNALDO GIANECCHINI

YEAH, BABYYYYY!!!!

2005-08-05T12:29:00.000+08:00

I did it!!! I did it!!! At oo alam ko mejo maliit ang mga letters at oo rin alam ko na mejo bare pa yung template. Pero demmet!!!! I FUCKING DID IT!!!! Yeah, baby! I'm so gooood! I'm so proud of myself coz (as how July puts it) computers hate me or should I say, despise me. Well, this one's for you...you...father of computers!!!

Now, I would like to thank the following:

1.Master Achie-Pong!!! WOOHOOO! Salamat sa pagiging pasensyosa! Tama ka nga. Kailangan lang ng tyaga, pasensya at maraming oras sa pag-iinternet. Kaya heto ako ngayon...inaabuso ang free internet ng opisina. Halos magdadalawang araw ng hindi umuuwi. Salamat sa suporta, sa lahat ng payo at sa pagpapakilala saken kay number 2.

2. Lissa ng Lissaexplains.com. Ateng, kung sino ka man at sa kung saang lupalop ka man nandun ngayon, inaalay ko ito sayo ng buong-buo. Salamat sa napaka-useful mong website. Alam kong hindi mo 'to maiiintindihan pero wala ako sa mood mag-English. Next time na lang. Basta, THANK YOU!!!! You rock!!!

3. Kung sino ka mang pausong gumawa ng Flamingtext. Asteg! Salamat sa pagpapaubaya ng libreng fonts! Isa pa lang nagagamit ko pero pag nagka-oras pupunuin ko tong blog ko ng maraming fonts!! In English, Thanks.

4. Sa mga ibang bloggers na nagsilbing inspirasyon. Tuwing tinitingnan ko kasi yang senyo parang sinasabi nyong..."Ang pangit ng blog mo! Ayusin mo nga o di kaya i-delete mo na ng tuluyan!"

5. At sa lahat ng nag-aaksaya ng oras magbasa ng mumunting blog na ito. SALAMAT. Pinahirapan nyo ko. Wahaha!

In the meantime, baka may mai-susuggest naman kayo sa design. Wla na ko maisip eh.

My own generation

2005-07-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

I have always believed that I was so lucky to be part of this generation. Why?

Ask anyone who is born in the 80's how he spends his afternoon during summer vacations, without thinking he'll say "pinipilit patulugin para raw tumangkad." Then after FAKING his afternoon nap, he goes outside, plays patintero or langit-lupa with his uhugin friends. Then because of peer pressure, he whines to his parents asking them to buy him Atari or Family Computer. We had our own share of bruises, scrapes, kuto and pawis from all the outdoor games we invented and could think of. But on the other hand, we got to be the first to experience the mother of Counterstrike, Ragnarok and what have you...FAMILY COMPUTER (Mario Bros, Elevator Man, MInesweeper etc.).

Ask him what he does after school. Albeit knowing his folks would get mad if he buys fishballs, tukneneng, mangga at bagoong outside the school building for fear of Hepa B or Cholera, he couldn't care less and still spends his baon on those. Not to mention the poor brightly painted chicks and the goldfish suffocating in a plastic bag.

Ask him what his favorite shows are as a kid. I bet Bioman, Shaider, Teenage Mutants Ninja Turtles, Voltes V, Rainbow Brite, Ang Munting Prinsesa, and even Takeshi's Castle will be mentioned.

For the girls, amidst pimples sprouting everywhere, they can't help but squeal with great pleasure whenever seeing Backstreet Boys or Nsync. Depression and frustration attack when news broke that Spice Girls are gays. Almost all of them idolizes the twin sisters Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield and has numerous collections of Sweet Valley Kids, Twins, High, University and Saga.

Of course, we have the never ending wars between metal and hiphop, Eheads and Rivermaya (I personally think Bamboo is still the better man. Sorry to Rico's fans)), Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan, Gimik and TGIS.

I still have lots of things I can think of. But I would not want anyone's head falling off coz of boredom. I'm just proud to say that I'm part of this generation..well, minus the political instability, coup 'd etats, corruption. Nevertheless, I would not want to lose hope. Just like how I never lose hope that a "patotot" in a patintero game would save us from losing.

On pressure, drag queens, and Sentro

2005-07-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

Haven't had time to blog lately. Pressure with a capital P is what people see plastered at my face these days. I needed to come up with $100,000 for the month of June! But thanks to The Holiday Inn San Mateo, CA's $40,320, I made it! HAHA! And for this month, guess what...the goal is $300,000! PAKSHET! Odd thing, I'm enjoying every second of the day. Well, minus the getting-out-of-the-bed stage..

It was Cha's birthday last Thursday. We woke her up and surprised her with a cake, salad, sandwich and a gay version of "Happy Birthday To You". Happy Birthday ulit, sungit!

Anyway, speaking of gays...We watched CONNIE AND CARLA last week. It was about 2 women who were witnesses to a crime and to hide from the bad people who were trying to "shut them up", they applied as DRAG QUEENS in California. The movie was hilarious! My favorite character? Of course.. Lee/'N Cream (Alec Mapa), the Filipino drag queen. Gugulong ka sa kakatawa. He has this Filipino accent that we are famous for. We can't deny it. We are good imitators but our tongues are "tatak Pilipino". The movie presented this with no offense meant, though. Galing!

"So (pronounced like saw), are we going to kontinyu with the pinale?"

Crowd goes: Whaaattt?

Other American drag queens: "The FINALE"

Watch it, watch it!

I've been dying to blog about my new favorite restaurant...Sentro 1771. I'm not sure if there are branches other than the one in Greenbelt 3. I'm not good in describing food(s). But is "orgasmic" enough? They serve Filipino food with a modern twist. Who would've thought of mixing tapa, tuyo (dried fish), lettuce, onion and vinegar? Sarap! Healthy pa! Their best-seller is Sinigang. We've already tried Seafood in Tamarind soup and Corned Beef Sinigang. They let you taste the soup first to check if the flavor suits you. Cool, eh? Let it be as maasim as you want it to be! We've also tried the baked clams which were oozing with cheese!YUM! There's also the shrimp which is a lil bit sweet, crunchy on the outside but tender on the inside. I even ate the tails(?)! Their Crispy Pata is boneless (that's how they described it). The meat is cooked to perfection, at syempre ang balat na sobrang lutong! The sauce is great. The usual vinegar sauce for Crispy Pata but I think they add wine on it. I always order Sago't Gulaman for beverage. And hear this, it's bottomless! And for dessert (my favorite part!), we have creme brulee. Now, delectable, heavenly, luscious, palatable etc...won't do justice! It was simply the BEST--understatement! The service is excellent. The staff makes sure you're enjoying everything. Try eating in this restaurant! Share this experience with your special someone. (I did a couple of times with my Cha-Cha).

The first half of June.

2005-06-17T05:56:00.000+08:00

When someone gets bored with his life, he asks for something to happen. Something that will break the consistency...something new...something unexpected...

Then BAM! Everything's changed. Just when you think wishes only work for kids, they smack you right at your face, and there you are, not ready yet for anything, stumbling and rattling on what to do, on what needs to be done..and then you see yourself totally defenseless.

The month of June has been full of surprises. To think it just started its second half. I'm gonna do it this way...

June 1--We moved in to a new apartment. It's much bigger this time. Pwedeng-pwede akong magsayaw at mag-tumbling anytime. Kasama ko ang 3 bakla. Ronnie, Wacks and of course, my Mareng Chard. Kakalog-kalog kami ngayon kasi kahit ref, wala pa. So nabubuhay kami sa ice-tubig ng tindahan sa tapat.

with Mareng Chard pagkatapos magbuhat ng sangkaterbang gamit!

June 6---I applied for a different position in our company. Sabi nga ni Geng, naramdaman ko na ang mapaso sa kabilang department. Nagkalapnos-lapnos ang balat ko. READ: BURNOUT!!! Anyway, june 6 kami nag-start. It's a brand new environment! It's refreshing! Sana lang 'di ulit ako mapaso. But then again, hindi mawawala ang expectations ng mga tao...

June 9---Well, hindi naman 'to tungkol sakin. But still...Nahulog si Cha sa hagdan namin. I was not there coz I left for work early. Good thing, Mareng Chard was there. He cut short his most-awaited climactic event to bring Cha to the hospital. 6 stitches ang inabot at sa taass pa ng kilay. Sa KILAY!!! Cha is very particular with her brows. Galawin na lahat wag lang yun...TSK..TSK..so long, vanity..

June 12---Independence day! We rushed to the Asian Hospital coz I received a text..."Manganganak nako. Mga 10 PM." Saan ka pa makakakita ng buntis na nagtetext na manganganak na sya 30 mins before sya operahan?! Sino ito? Si July lang! Si July na kasama ko pa the day before to help her out with her last shopping spree before sya manganak. The thought is still terrifying! Pano kung nanganak sya bigla nung ako lang kasama nya?! Kal-el is so damn cute!!!The baby can definitely holler! DAMN! With all the screaming! I literally saw him turned red! Aww...very much July-like! 2 hours after the operation, I saw July...texting again, laughing, cracking jokes! Langya! Ang tigas ng ulo!

Kal-el...in a rare peaceful mode.

Kal-el...crying his eyes out!

Dar, Chard and me...with July

More new things to come...wala na nga lang akong oras. =)

Quick posting

2005-06-07T06:03:00.000+08:00

My new bed...ahhh...moon and stars. Sarap umuwi! Tsss...babaw!

kung ano na lang

2005-06-03T02:24:00.000+08:00

Ang sarap pala ng pakiramdam pag wala kang pera. Dati kasi pag alam kong 500 pesos na lang ang laman ng bulsa ko hindi nako mapakali. Parang nahihirapan akong huminga...

Sa dami ng gastos namin ngayon hindi ko na namalayan na naubos na pala pati ipon ko. Pero pinigilan kong mag-panic. I think I have to live my life on the edge again. Yung tipong hindi palaging safe. And I feel great. I get to appreciate small and much simpler things. I always take a cab when I go home but since malapit na nga bahay namin, naglalakad na lang ako pauwi. I have time to think about things and feel the breeze or should I say the smog in the morning. Not to mention, I get to work my ass out. After God knows how long, na-appreciate ko na naman ang lasa ng banana-que, ang amoy ng Growers peanuts, ang sarap ng buko juice, ang halaga ng beinte-singko.

I'm enjoying the feeling of not knowing what will happen next. The challenge of finding ways on how to survive without a penny until next payday. Again, the wonders of life's unpredictability bring back the "life" in me.

A Letter from Catstrike

2005-06-02T04:13:00.000+08:00

Allow me to reveal my true feelings...what's really inside me. I know there's no way you'll come across this. I know you too well..you hate spending hours surfing the net. You can't even manage your Friendster account. That's the whole point. I would not want you to know how I really feel. If in the future, you see this, accidentally or not, bear in mind that I was able to keep up. That I'm doing good. That I'll be fine, with or without you.

I know this time will come. I did my best not to think about it. It slowly inches its way out. But I forced it inside, covering it up with anything. It is inevitable. As I always put it, "They just come and go". It surpised the hell out of me that it has to happen too soon.

We dreamt of growing old together. The thought of our kids calling one another "Mare" amused us. We even wrote to paper our "mutant/superhero" fantasies, wishing that someday we'll have superpowers and help save the world from the evil "Python". These, among many others.

But like they say...everything has to end.

A month from now, I'll be coming home to a quiet and empty house. No one to talk to. No one to share my food with. No one to ask if I'm wearing the right clothes. No more CSI or FRIENDS marathon. No more blaring "What A Girl Wants". No more 'harutan' if neither of us can sleep. I'll watch Darna and Encantadia in awe, drool over Brad Pitt, dance to every song all by myself. I'll go out to our make-believe patio, smoke cigs and dream of living abroad, alone..These shall happen because you chose to move out. And you might not know, but I consider it you moving out of my life.

I always live to my principle that one should hold on to things lightly, so it's much easier to let go and move on. But you were an exception. Among many of our DOGst-mates. (Screw 'Eagle' if he does not want to be referred as one.)

Where am I leading to? Just one thing, I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss "us". Partners in crime. Or should I say partners in fighting the forces of evil. US. Raven and Catstrike. With your blazing fireblasts and my deadly purrstrike, together will soon conquer the world. But for now, let me serve as your witness as you fly and begin your new adventure to another land.

I'm letting you go now, Raven, Mareng Chard...I'll see you soon.

Leche..dito ka lang din naman sa Makati lilipat. Drama.

P.S.

Alam ko magagalit ka dahil malalaman na ng ibang tao ang totoo nating pagkatao bilang...superheroes...

CATSTRIKE

---I was supposed to post this a month ago but I chickened out. Well, so much for the drama. I already moved in with them! Wahoo!!! I don't mind if my joints are aching big time right now. (I carried big boxes, TV, microwave etc.) I'll be living with my three favorite gays in the whole world! And reminiscent ng TGIS and Gimik ang itsura ng bahay, in fairness. And the best thing, sa likod lang ng Makati Med. kung dati 5 tumbling lang ang bahay namin papuntang opisina, ngayon 1 1/2 tumbling na lang. Will definitely post pictures soon!!!

Salamat, Polar Bear.

2005-05-28T02:06:00.000+08:00

Isa sa mga taong hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ay si Manong Solis. Bahagi siya ng buhay ko noong kolehiyo. Mas maraming nakakakilala sa kanya sa pangalang "Polar Bear". Medyo may kalakihan kasi siya at may kaputian. Hindi alam ng nakararami na ang tunay nyang pangalan ay Artemio Solis. Isang taong nagbuhos ng dedikasyon at pagmamahal sa kanyang trabaho.

Sino nga ba sya? Anong papel nya sa buhay ng mga estudyante ng AB? Sa may gawing Dapitan, nandon ang gusali namin. 4 na taong labas-masok ako sa gusaling iyon. At si Manong Solis ang una kong nasisilayan, nabubungaran, nakikita. Siya ang unang karayom na kinailangan kong lusutan upang makapasok. Hindi ang mga prof o kaya si dean. Si Manong Solis, ang guwardiya ng St. Raymund's Building.

Kadalasan ay saksakan ng sungit si Manong Solis. Parang nagmemenopause na babae.

"Hoy! ID mo!"
"Bat ka nakasleeveless? Alam nyo naman na bawal yan! Sige pa rin kayo!"
"Bawal yan dito!"
"Bawal ang sandals, hindi ka pwede pumasok!"
"Bat ka nakacivilian? may klase ngayon ah!"
"Kayo, pag binagbibigyan, umaabuso!"

Ganyan kadalasan ang narinig ko dati. Pag may nakaiwan samin ng ID, iintayin nalang na magkaron ng regudon ng mga guwardiya, wag lang makabangga si Polar Bear.

"Lintek! Si Solis nagbabantay. Patay tayo jan 'tol!"
"----ina naman oh! Si Solis ang bantay. Mainit ako dyan eh!"

Minsan bumagyo. Nagkataong nakitawag ako sa payphone ng building. Walang pasok noon. Natural, baha na naman.

Ako: Manong, dito muna ako ha?
Solis: Sige, mukhang matagal pang ulan. Baka magkasakit ka pa nyan.

Ang totoo non, nangangatog ako hindi dahil sa lamig, kundi dahil sa takot ko sa kanya.

Solis: San ka ba nakatira?
Ako: Dyan lang po sa may Alfredo. Sa may Almer's. Sira kasi phone namin eh.
Solis: San probinsya mo 'ne?
Ako: Sa Mindoro po.
Solis: Talaga? Nadestino ako dun dati. Ilang taon din yun. May mga kamag-anak din ako dun. San ka sa Mindoro?
Ako: Calapan po.
Solis: Aba, talaga? May mga kakilala ako sa munisipyo dun.
Ako: Kilala nyo po ba Si Chippy Espiritu?
Solis: Yung dating governor? Oo naman.
Ako: Ninong ko po sya.

Katahimikan.

Solis: Namimiss ko na ang Mindoro. Simple lang ang buhay doon. Kelan ka huling umuwi?
Ako: Naku, matagal na po.

Nagkuwento pa sya ng mga nangyari sa kanya sa Mindoro. Tumila na ang ulan.

Ako: Manong, sige po...mauna nako. Salamat po ah.
Solis: Sige, Zara. Minsan dalawin mo naman ang Mindoro. Isabay mo ko ha?
Ako: Sige po. Babay!
Solis: Ingat sa daan!

Mula noon, kabatian ko na sya. Laging nagyayang umuwi kami sa Mindoro. Nakilala ko ang isang bahagi ng pagkatao nya. Hindi ang guwardiyang nakauniporme at maghapong nakatayo, naninita. Si Manong Artemio Solis.

2 taon ang nakalipas. Wala na kong balita sa kanya. Nakikita ko lang ang account na ginawa para sa kanya sa Friendster. Hanggang dun lang...

Nakatanggap ako ng balita noong isang araw. Pumanaw na sya noong 24 ng Mayo. Hindi ako halos nakatrabaho ng maayos. Apektado ako, maging ang mga naging kaklase at batchmates ko. Sa Friendster, sa e-mail, sa text...nagkalat. Patay na si Manong Solis. Nanlalambot ako tuwing naiisip ko. Isang tao lamang siyang dinadaan-daanan ng lahat, kinakatakutan, pinagtatawanan. Pero sa likod ni "Polar Bear" ay isang taong buong pusong naglingkod sa mga estudyante. Ginugol nya ang mga natitirang araw ng buhay nya sa mga taga-AB. Sa bawat paninita dahil walang ID, naka-sandals, naka-civilian...nagtatago dito ang kanyang pagmamalasakit at pagmamahal sa mga Artlets...

Salamat, Manong Artemio Solis...Ang nag-iisang Polar Bear ng buhay namin.

BEAUTIFUL

2005-05-27T03:19:00.000+08:00

A close friend of mine, July, texted me last night. She just wanted to say hi and ask if Chard and I are doing OK. We have always had that special kind of bond. The three of us...Chard, July and I. This time, I want to focus more on July, the soon to be mom.

I rarely use the word beautiful to describe a person. For me, being beautiful goes beyond physical appearances. One is beautiful if she has a kind heart and a good soul. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to know one.

I've known July for more than 4 years. A petite morena lady with perfect bone structures, striking eyes, gorgeous face...I could go on and on...These, among many others, were of course noticed by talent scouts and agencies. She appeared on ads, both in TV (one of which was shown in Indonesia) and print. And it does not end here. She also is one of the smartest I know and she can win any debate with her witty remarks and arguments. Having all of these, she remains humble and simple.

We became much closer when we lived together for almost half a year in the same house, which she fondly called "The Dungeon". We spent sleepless nights talking about anything. We shared almost everything...food, clothes, shoes, make-up...We found time to laugh and enjoy even though we were both struggling from what seemed like the deepest, darkest moments of our lives. She was my ray of sunlight. We held on to each other. One depending on the other's strength.

My friend has been through a lot. I was there when she cried non-stop over a failed relationship. I saw how she was trampled upon by people who never understood her and still she did not wish ill to any of them. Life had been a big rollercoaster for her. I witnessed how she regained herself and how she bloomed into a much beautiful young lady, how she stood up once again and faced the world with newly-found strength and faith.

She fell in love with a wonderful man who looks at her with so much love and admiration. The moon of her life. The one who shed the light to bring back the light in her own eyes. They got married on their 1st anniversary. And now they live in the cutest house in Cavite named after the famous Koreanovela "Full House".

In less than a month, July will give birth to Kal-el (and yes, SUPERMAN!). He will be the very first precious baby of our barkada. He will be spoiled to the max by her ninongs and ninangs (i'm one of them!). I never thought that one can love someone the way she loves her baby.

July is a rarity. She has the kindest heart to go with her gorgeous face. She wants everyone she loves to have what she has. "Isusubo na lang nya, ibibigay pa nya sa iba.". She never fails to let you know that you are special and she loves you. She accepts the whole of you, flaws included. She can't find peace if she feels you're in a dilemma. And most importantly, she appreciates your existence and the love and care you give her.

July...ahh..she's a beauty. A rare precious stone that brightens our lives and makes it easier for us to go through everything.

Cheers to beautiful July, a soon to be super mother!!!

---at the "Full House" Chard, Josh, July and me!

Asan na kasi ang bato?

2005-05-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

Sabi nila pag nawala na raw lahat sayo tsaka ka pa lang magkakaron ng lakas ng loob na sundin kung ano talaga ang gusto mong mangyari sa buhay mo. Ilang beses ko na narinig yan. Halos araw-araw ko na ring pinag-isipang magpatihulog at bitawan ang lahat ng meron na ako. Pero hindi ganun kadali. Walang Darna sa totoong buhay na sasalo at magliligtas sayo.

Inaalipin ako ng buhay. Patagal nang patagal sumasama ang loob ko. Nilalamon ako ng tadhana. Habang buhay ko na lang ba gagawin ang isang bagay na hindi kailanman nagdulot sakin ng saya? Ayoko namang dumating ang panahong mistulang robot na lang ako na pinapatakbo ng mga dambuhalang abusado. Walang sariling pangarap. Walang sariling personalidad.

Saan ko huhugutin ang lakas ng loob upang tuluyan nang bumitaw? Upang hayaan ko namang pagbigyan ang sarili ko? Upang maramdaman ko ulit ang nararamdaman ng mga batang unang beses pa lang nakasakay ng bisekleta? Upang lumitaw ulit ang ngiting matagal na ring hindi mahagip ng aking mga labi? Saan?

Sana totoo si Darna. Sana maraming bato. Sa mga ganitong panahon kasi masarap isubo ito..sumigaw ng "DARNA!!!" at tuluyang hindi makilala ng mundo...lumipad at maglaho ng kahit ilang minuto.

on nga-nga and putik (delayed posting)

2005-05-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

We're going to Mindoro!!! Not to Puerto Galera. Good heavens, no! I'm starting to get sick of it. It's like the entire Manila population goes to Puerto Galera every weekend. Imagine a Malate scene..put in sand and water, then you have Puerto Galera. You go to beaches to unwind, to escape from the busy metro and you do not get that from PG. If not for their Mindoro Sling, I'd swear I'm not going back there.

Anyway, my rituals before hitting the beach include a foot spa with pedicure. I visited a parlor which was just a jeepney ride away from our place. (I choose not to mention the name for some reasons.) The place was nice, cozy, in fact. I was directed to the back and was seated on a black, leather chair which was elevated compared to the rest. Too bad, the TV was on the other side. I planned to watch Darna pa naman. So I just asked for a magazine. The woman handed me a tattered, last year's issue of Preview. OK, Not a problem. Then I flipped through the pages and what do I see? Chewing gum, cherry flavored, sticking to the face of Amanda Griffin. Is it that hard to pull up your ass, get a friggin' piece of paper, wrap your chewed-chewing gum and throw it on the waste basket? And this parlor does not even have the decency to check if their magazines are up to date or at least in good condition and do not spread some contagious disease. That was just the start of it, people. I was then asked to place my feet on the timba-looking electronic device filled with water which weirded me out coz the color reminded of the chewing gum (bright pink!). The moment I put my feet on it, I almost yelped coz the water was fuckin' cold! Isn't it the first cardinal rule of foot spa preparations that you use warm water to soften hard, calloused feet? Langya! I was about to complain but when I looked up no one was there to bear witness of my bitch fits. And I was at the far end of the room. Then I thought maybe, just maybe, that was their own version of foot spa. I let it pass. Two of them went back to check on me. One was filing her fingernails and the other one was putting on surgical gloves (which by the way was not the cleanest I've seen). With the gloves on, the woman removed my feet from the basin and scrubbed them with a funny-smelling concoction.

Then the fingernail-filing woman suddenly said, "Eh yan pala yung mabaho eh..amoy nga-nga!"

"Oo nga no. Ang baho!"

I then told them politely, "Eh mabaho pala eh, bakit yan pa ginagamit nyo?"

"Ganito lang po talaga, Ma'am, pero effective naman eh."

I shut up and gave them my infamous indifferent stare. They continued what they were doing while conversing in Ilonggo. I gave the other woman the nail polish I wanted to use. (Color brown). While she was applying the polish to my nails, the other woman piped in... "Ano kaya magandang kulay? Hay, para sa kalandian.."

"Etong nilalagay ko kay Ma'am. Maganda."

"Yuck ha. Ayoko nyan. Mukhang putik! Gusto ko yung kakaiba."

Kung hindi ako nakapagpigil malamang naibuhos ko sa kanya yung laman ng timba na pinagbabaran ng paa ko at ikiniskis ko sa mukha nya ang amoy nga-ngang scrub. Mabuti na lang maganda ang mood ko noon dahil may outing kinabukasan. Kung hindi, mararamdaman nya ang bagsik ng mga paa ko kesehodang kakapa-footspa pa lang nila. Pasensya na at hindi bagay saken ang blue, red, silver, green o orange na nail polish. Hindi naman ako mestiza para magmaganda at gumamit ng flamboyant colors. I have to stick to earth colors or else...(use thy imagination).

They should not say those things in front of their customers. If they can't think of anything good or nice to say they better shut up or they won't notice that after a while the parlor will file for bankruptcy. They will lose their jobs and they can no longer have free manicure!

Also, lesson learned...being polite does not mean you always have to keep to yourself whatever it is that is bothering you so as not to offend other people. It is your right as long as you believe you're right. Let it out. It's not being rude.

And at the back of my mind, I wanted to kick myself coz I let them use a nga-nga smelling scrub and freezing cold water on my beloved feet and made api the color I chose...this won't happen again.

SOON

2005-04-28T19:32:00.000+08:00

After 14 long years, I broke the silence. This time I reached out. ALMOST not holding back anything. I know I will eventually get sick of it. I'm not doing this because I want to but because I need to. For my sister. And that difference is a fuckin' big deal to me. I've been having the most decent, smooth, not to mention NORMAL conversations with the one person I would never want to be associated with. If you would consider conversing thru text messages NORMAL. That is the farthest I can go. I'm not ready to talk to her personally. Not yet. Well, soon I might have to. Again, not on my own freewill.

And soon meaning this coming weekend. I'll see you soon, mother.

3-day vacation

2005-04-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

I just had a long weekend. Nabu-burnout nako sa opisina so nag-vacation leave ako last Friday.

Friday

As usual, walang pagkain sa bahay. So nauwi na naman kami sa Glorietta ni Cha at bumili ng kung ano-ano. Syempre Fire Floss pati ng Breadtalk. (Seriously, I need to visit and explore other malls. Haven't been to Market!Market! na jogging distance lang from our house)
Anyway, we went back to my place and watched VCDs and DVDs. Now I know why Titanic was such a hit; why Leo makes half of the female population drool; why even macho men with bulging muscles know the lyrics of My Heart Will Go On; why people fondly shout "I'm the king of the world" whenever they are on a ship or kahit sa bangka lang. Oo, nung Friday ko lang napanood ang Titanic. 8 years after it was shown on the big screen. Pathetic, eh? Actually, I swore to myself that I will never ever watch that movie. I remember in highschool when everyone went gaga over it. People bought piles of stationeries (aka statio) with pictures of scenes from the movie. Patawarin, pati kumot at tuwalya may nakita ako. I got sick of it. Ah, teenage angst! I did not want to deal with cheesy, overly-sweet, romantic movies. I was more the WWF kind of gal.

And what do you know??? I enjoyed the movie!!! I never thought I would experience the "laglag panty, ikot bra" moment when I saw Leo, but I did! Alam ko naman na dedok ang lolo Leo but I secretly wished na sana nagloloko lang lahat ng nakapanood.

Mr. James Cameron, you made me cry! Damn!

And now, the highlight of the night...

After Cha's numerous attempts in convincing me to watch Fight Club, I gave in. UNDERSTATEMENT: The film was great. Ass-kicking action scenes, mindblowing (hmm?) lines, amazing cinematography, and of course, the epitome of "laglag panty, ikot bra, tulo laway" God's gift to mankind hunk, Brad Pitt. Let's give it to him...he was oozing with sex appeal!!! I loved the film's unpredictability. Yun tipong gusto mo na malaman kung ano ba talaga pero ayaw mo pa matapos ang lahat. I'll blog more about this movie in the future.

For the meantime let me share these with you...pagnilay-nilayan..
"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."
"The things you own end up owning you."

Saturday

I slept for more than 8 hours. We were supposed to go to Cavite to visit July but had a change of plan. Una, sinamahan muna namin (Cha, Chard and me) ang Darwin mag-shopping. Iba na talaga ang taga-McCann at ang hawak na account ay Unilab. Bigyan ka ba naman ng 12,000 worth GC? Nasa tamang trabaho ba ko? Then, sinundo namin ang Ronnie sa mala-hacienda nilang bahay sa may Buendia. Hindi ko kinaya at talagang security guard ang nag-bukas ng gate! Then tumambay muna sa Select at kumain. Tapos direcho sa Paranaque kina Anj. Ang paborito kong tambayan. Syempre kulang kami. At pakiramdam ko 'di na ulit makukumpleto. Mga past 11 na kami umalis at kumain muna sa Quick Stomach sa Makati bago ihatid sina Ronnie at Chard sa opisina. Went home and watched more DVDs.

Sunday

I was too tired so I just stayed home and watched more DVDs. Yeah, I know...I need to get a life.

Ngayon

I just had to mention this. It's our happy day!!! 4 years and 7 months..whew!=)

see how sexy my baby is? yan ang mga sinisipulan! (wag ka magalit, babe)

Thanks Achie!!!

2005-04-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

I know now how to post pictures!!!!WAHAHA!!!!! Thanks to Achie!! MWAH!!

Now, to show you, people, my new-found skill...

Over the weekend...

We went to Jogima Resort in Bulacan. Cha and I treated my nieces and our closest friends. Swimming galore!!! Too bad, we used my sister's cam. I just used my phone to take some pictures...

Alin, alin alin ang naiba? Sinong 'di bading?

with my Mareng Chard

And yeah, I was able to watch 3R at the resort. GAAHH!!! My name was spelled incorrectly. I just hate it when that happens. You know how some try to "over-spell" their names? (e.g. simple names like Joy, Kay, Mae are spelled as Jhoie, Khaye, Mhae.) It would not be a problem if those are the names showing in their birth certificates. But if not...why, oh why, do you complicate things? Well anyway, as long as they're happy. In my case..it gets on my nerves when my name is spelled as Zarah, Sarah, Sara, Jara, Jarah or God forbids..Zharah!

Barbie's coming out was not featured. I don't know why. I was excited about it pa naman.

Yesterday.

My plan was just to accompany Cha in getting a new haircut. Actually, kakapagupit pa lang nya last week pero feeling nya minurder yung buhok nya. At take note...hindi ko kinaya ang presyo ng pinagpagupitan nya dati. 600 pesos for a haircut? Ginto ba ang gunting nila? Itago natin ang parlor sa pangalang Angela Justina. Ang parlor na ito ay makikita sa isang malaking mall sa Ayala at malapit ito sa Ginto+Kris Aquino (psssttt...Goldcrest). Wahaha corny! Eh kasi naman ang manggugupit nila ay naka-Burberry na polo at sya pala ang may-ari. Pero 600 pesos? At binigyan pa sya ni Cha ng tip. 100 pesos. So all in all 700 pesos! Wala namang extra-ordinary na ginawa. Eh kasi nga naka-Burberry sya. Leche. Kaya bago magpagupit sa mga parlor na akala mo OK lang mamresyo, magtanong-tanong muna. Ang relax nila 8000 pesos? Eh konti na lang pwede ko ng gamitin ang pera na yan sa nose lift!

Going back, sa Fix ko na dinala si Cha. Trusted ko na kasi ang capabilities nila. Haircut and hairspa ang drama ng lola Cha. Ako, naiinggit dahil gusto ko ring binubutingting ang buhok ko. Nauwi ako sa pagpapahigh-lights. Hindi yon ang first time ko so OK lang. Kaya lang ayoko kasi ng sobrang obvious. Tipong blonde high-lights na 'di naman bagay sa kulay ko. Hello??? Ang napili ko with the help of Melanie (very pretty, anime-looking chinita stylist) ay medium brown copper. I loved it!!! Masakit talaga sa anit ang gamot! OK lang, worth it naman eh.

Ganda ng hair ng lola Cha! 185 pesos lang ang haircut pero panalo! Bangs kung bangs ang labanan! Will post pics next time.

This one's for you, Angelo Justin este Angela Justina!!!!

On my new haircut-not quite!

2005-04-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

I was asked by a friend to appear on a TV show called 3R and talk about same sex relationship. Never had I imagined myself confessing about my sexuality on TV. True, I had always been vocal about it. I always wanted people to accept me for who I am and there's no other way to achieve that but by being true to myself. I took it as a challenge. How many of them can really stay and accept the broohaha that I am? It was just on a short notice. As in 2 hours before the shoot. So I needed to decide as quickly as possible. (Yeah, same as before, huh Geng? 3 hours before the bus leaves for Pangasinan. Hehe)

I have to admit though, one thing that made me accept it was the thought of seeing Barbie Almalbis in person. Cha has the biggest crush on her and nahawa na nya ko. Who wouldn't? Such a talented lass. I was devastated when I found out that I wouldn't see her as she will be interviewed somewhere else. Well, at least she decided to come out na.

I met 3R's staff at Gold's Gym Robinson's Galleria and Allan (of 3R, not sure of his position) handed me the "script"---don't know how to call it. Basta the supposed to be flow of the conversation. Then I saw the camera's red light. Yeah that was my cue...I did not make sense in any of the things I had said. All my principles in life just flew off leaving no traces behind. Para akong highschool na nauutal at 'di mapakali. What made it worse was the fact that no one was listening. I was blabbering about lesbianism, bisexuality and the likes and no one was giving any damn acknowledgement or whatsoever. Konting tango lang sana or kahet plastik na "Oo nga no!". No one was paying attention, LITERALLY! The person who was interviewing me did not even bother to look at my freakin' face when I talk. He just fed me the questions and expected me to answer those like a machine. It was not easy nor comfortable talking about those issues in the middle of a mall and mind you, it was near the entrance so just imagine the people lining up for inspection almost having stiff necks wanting to make usyoso of who was on that shoot. Well, sorry..isang simpleng tao lang ako. Hindi ako artista na sanay sa ganyang interview. Oh, how I missed Tito Boy! At least sya, nakipag-usap talaga.

I wasn't given the chance to express my views about it. On how I see the issue as "not really an issue". It is not an abnormality. What we should focus more on is how people deal with it, the level of acceptance among us. How many interviews were done with gays, lesbians etc? Gazillion, perhaps. But never had I seen a TV show which had dealt with people who started hate crimes, serial killing and what have you. They always ask HOW we adapt to the world. Selfish as it may seem, we still wonder what it would be like if it's the other way around.

Never mind the rantings. I blew it off. My only chance to voice out my opinion and I ended up looking like a pathetic high school girl who is unsure of her sexuality. AARGGGHHH!!!!

I ended up having a haircut. At least, I felt good about it.

Recommendations

2005-04-08T19:53:00.000+08:00

I recommend the following:

(READ: (disclaimer) Opinyon lamang ito ng simpleng taong tulad ko na may mababaw na kaligayahan. Kung inyong nanaising subukan at hindi nyo maibigan, hindi ko yun kasalanan.)

1. Fire Floss o Hot Chix ng Breadtalk-Oo, yun yung tindahan ng tinapay na makikita mo pag pumasok ka sa may gawing Oakwood ng Glorietta. 45 each. The difference according to Ate Norma (sales lady):Fire Floss-pork; Hot Chix-chicken. Kung mahilig ka sa maanghang, tikman ito. Mas masarap sya kainin kung may kasama ka at masasabihan mo ng "Mare, ----ina ang sarap!!!"

2. Polboron ng House of Polvoron-Iba-ibang flavors:cashew, peanut, pinipig, chocolate, cookies and cream. May tindahan din nito sa Glorietta, sa may Food Choices, sa tabi ng CR. 4 pesos each. Sasabihin mong last na pero 'di mo mapipigilan at kukuha ka ulit.

3. Krispy Krepes- ang alam ko lang na branch ay sa SM Makati foodcourt. Usual flavors ng crepes. Ang natikman ko ay mangga. Pero pinagawa kong ispesyal. May extra almonds and 1 scoop ng vanilla ice cream. Crispy yun pinakabalot nya kya 'di na mangangailangan ng kutsara o tinidor. Parang barquillos ang dating pero mas pinasarap. Ingat lang sa pagkain dahil medyo magiging makalat. Kumuha ng maraming tissue kay ate (who by the way is very friendly). 75 pag walang ipadadagdag na alipores.

4. Ensaymada ng Bizu- May store din sila sa Glorietta. Paglabas ng Food Choices, gawing Dencio's. Chocolate at cheese pa lang ang natitikman ko pero walang panama si Goldilocks o ang Red Ribbon. Bumili pag medyo pasara na ang mall. May 30% discount na yun. nabili ko yung saken ng P38.50 each.

5. C2- nakakaadik talaga 'to. Inuming may special flavors at nakakalinis daw ng katawan. Ang mga natikman ko na: Green Tea, Peach, Lemon, Iced Tea. Sabi nila masarap din daw yung apple. 'Di ko nga lang talaga maabutan dahil palaging out of stock. Sa ngayon, Green Tea at Lemon ang peyborit ko. Pagkatapos uminom feeling Cool and Clean ka nga.

6. Grilled chicken ng World Chicken-masyado nakong napagkakitaan ng tindahang ito. Sa Glorietta rin matatagpuan. Grilled chicken at mamimili ka kung pasta o rice tapos may extra side dish. Dati palaging mashed potato ang order ko at corn and mushroom naman ang sauce ng chicken. Ngayon, potato salad naman at cheese monay ang sauce. Mga 120 ata yun. Wala pang inumin.

7. California Maki ng Teriyaki Boy-Sa Glorietta branch din kami kumakain pero 'di nako dun babalik dahil sa isang nakakahiyang pangyayari dulot nina Ronnie at Chard. Sa lahat ng California Making natikman ko eto na ata ang pinakamasarap. Ang ganda pa ng presentation at mas malalaki kumpera sa iba. Mga 100+ ata isang order.

8. Spaghetti Factory- Oo na. Wala nakong ibang pinupuntahan...Glorietta ulit ito. Sa may restaurant row. Sample platter ang inorder ko. Mamimili ka ng 3 klaseng ispageti. Masarap yung may red wine seafood ecklavu. Sabi rin nila best-seller daw yung pusit chenes, mangingitim nga lang gilagid mo. Da best ang onion rings, medyo mamantika nga lang. Friendly ang crew. At forever iaalok sayo ang higanteng lalagyan ng pepper (di ko lam tawag dun pero nakakagulat talaga sa kalakihan!).

9. Triple V- sa mga tulad kong food enthusiast, subukan ito. Eat all you can. 275 pag Kamayan lang. 495 pag crossover. Ibig sabihin Dad's, Saisaki at Kamayan. Bahala ka na sa buhay mo. Basta wag magtitira dahil dodoblehin ang bayad. Binabalaan ko rin kayo na magtingin muna ng presyo ng inumin bago umorder dahil may libre ngang stuffed toy ang fruit shake nila subalit 150 each naman.

10. Gonuts Donuts- Need I say more?

my feet

2005-04-04T16:45:00.000+08:00

WOW. I missed wearing tsinelas when I go out. After wearing pointed shoes, stilettos, deadly boots for more than 6 months, my feet now look like a camoteng binasura ng walang kaawa-awa.

It was Friday so we were allowed to wear "whatever" we wanna wear. Except jogging pants, mini skirt, tube top...well, they shouldve just told us to be in corporate wear the entire week! Not last Friday, hell no!! It was friggin' hot! You stand in front of an electric fan and the air it gives out is still warm making you feel more sweaty and malagkit. So I decided to wear something presko. My orange tank top, khaki capri pants (which was given to me by Mareng Chard just the day before when he/she realized they looked better on me. Thanks mare!), and orange tsinelas. I hatED my feet. Yes, in the past. The luya-like, callous infected feet of mine. The price one gets when she dances so much and is fond of wearing slightly tight rubber shoes during rehearsals.

Anyway, I entered the RCBC Plaza, my make-believe Bora, with my beach attire. Oh, and I forgot, I even put on Jergens Shimmering chenes lotion. Yeah, I know..people were staring. Not that they matter but I loved the look on their faces. "Sino ba tong feeling beach ang pupuntahan?"

"Mga letse kayo, eh mainit eh..ba't ba? Masaya ka ba at nakacoat and tie ka ngayon?!"

I wouldn't wanna have a scene with Manong Guard of the 28th floor so I decided to wear my white jacket muna. I took it off the moment I sat down at my workstation. Hegad, that felt nice. AC and all.

Then I stared at my feet again. I talked to them. (The way I talk to any part of my body)

"Guys, pasensya na ha...Naabuso ko na kayo ng sobra. Alam ko hate nyo na itsura nyo. Alam ko rin na gusto nyo na isumpa ang mga sapatos na pinagbibibili ko. Pero guys, sana maintindihan nyo na yun lang ang paraan para naman hindi kayo pagtawanan."

I almost heard them answering back...

"Eh kasi naman ate, gusto din namin makahinga at makita ang mundo. Ang daya mo nman. Kinahihiya mo kami."

So then I swore...I'll buy them cute flip-flops and colorful slippers. I know they're not that pretty, regal or whatever. But they are my feet. And I should be proud of them. They brought me to places. And of course, with them I get to do the one thing I can really be proud of...dancing.

"Thanks, feet..love you both!"

Mula sa Xanga

2005-04-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

Thursday, March 24, 2005

BAGO

Dahil sa mga kadahilanang hindi ko lubusang maipaliwanag...lumipat na ako dito...zarmania

Doon na malilipat lahat ng reklamo sa buhay, pasasalamat sa mga magagandang nangyayari at kung anek-anek na kaweirdohan..

Salamat sa suporta, mga kaibigan. Sa lahat ng hindi ko mailagay na links sa blog na ito, paumanhin ang hinihiling ko. Sa lahat din ng nagsasabing hindi sila makapagcomment dito, sa bago pwede na. Pasensya na at mahina lang talaga ang inyong lingkod sa computer.

Salamat.

Public - 2:28 AM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

HINDI AKO MAARTE. Kung may isang bagay na kinabwibwisitan ko eh yung mga babaeng pasaway at saksakan ng kaartehan. Yung tipong pag nakatapak ng putik sa daan, magngangangawngaw at diring-diring sasabihing "Ewww, may dirt sa shoes ko, take it off, take it off!!" Grrr!! Ingungudngod ko pa lalo mukha niya sa putikan. PASAWAY!
(May isa akong taong kilala sbra na ang pagka-arte at isa syang malaking POSER. Sabihin ba nmang "Ano yung santol?" ANAK KA NG ---------!!!!)

BUT I had my own moment of kaartehan last Saturday. At ang kaartehang yun ay dulot ng pagtitipid. Mahirap palang ma-pamper ng malapit na bahay sa opisina. Yung tipong hindi mo na kailangang tahakin ang buong Kamaynilaan para marating ang paroroonan. Ilang tumbling na lang kasi ready to work nako. Nung Sabado napagkasunduan ng RMH people na magkita-kita sa Starbucks Loop ng ABS-CBN (which was once just an FX away from our previous apartment). Magkikita na lang kami ni Cha sa SM North and sabay na lang pupunta sa domain ng mga Kapamilya. So, in short, susuyurin ko ang EDSA para makarating ng norte...mag-isa. Hindi ako sumasakay ng MRT ng walang kasama. Mas gugustuhin ko pang sumakay sa karag-karag at walang aircon na bus. Bakit? Dahil may kulang na parte ang utak ko at ubod ako ng katangahan sa direksyon. Pano kung sa ibang istasyon ako ibaba? Pano kung papuntang Taft ang masakyan ko? Pano kung sa kabilang side bumukas ang pinto? Ngunit, subalit kinaya ko...dahil tumataginting na 200 Piso ang pamasahe pag nag-cab ako. Matagal pa ang suweldo kya go ang lola. Steady lang...ang sabi ni Mare sa gitna raw nagpupunta lahat ng pasahero ng Buendia station. Sundan ko daw ang arrow na nakaturo sa North. Ah, madali lang yan. Keri. Nag-abang ako at tinapakan ang dilaw na nakadikit sa sahig. With my poncho and ballet shoes, nakipaggitgitan ako sa mga tao. Then it struck me, shucks, rush hour pala. 5:30 pm. May humintong tren sa harap namin. Ready nako. Napansin ko na lang sa kabilang pinto pumasok yung mga katabi kong babae. YES!! Di ko na kelangan makipag-unahan. Pag tingin ko sa pintong nakatapat saken, bumulaga ang mga kalalakihang mukhang sanggano. Namumula pa ata yung mga mata at mga bangag. Lumunok ako at napakapit ng mahigpit sa bag. Nadala na lang siguro ako ng alon ng tao at tuluyang napapasok sa tren. ATTACK!!! Nagmistulang uod ako na nagsumiksik sa mga sawa para makahanap ng kakapitan at mapalayo sa mga kontrabida. Nakahinga ako kahit papano dahil mejo napalayo ako sa mga goons. "Santolan station, Santolan station". Yun ang narinig ko bago may sumigaw ng "----ina!! Nanakawan ako! Yun celfone ko!" at may isa pang bading na parang naiiyak, "Yung pera ko may kumuha." Sabi ko na...iba na ang kutob ko sa mga lalaking yun. Mukha kasi talaga silang tauhan ni Rex Cortez. Sa ilang segundong nangyari ang mga yun lahat ng tao akala mo matagal ng magkakaibigan. Naghuhuntahan at nagtatawanan na. Iba talaga ang mga Pinoy. Instant friendships tong mga to!!! Bago kami tuluyang naghiwa-hiwalay, may nagsabi pa saking, "O, ikaw iha...mag-ingat ka ha. Maganda pa nman yang suot mong tela."

Kung hindi siguro ako nag-inarte at sinubukang lumayo sa mga mama baka ako ang nanakawan. Higit pa sana sa pang-cab ko. May dulot din palang maganda ang kaartehan, hane?

"Ano ba yung chesa?"

Friday, January 28, 2005

Buhay Estudyante

Tumambay ako minsan sa Powerbooks. Nakakita ulit ako ng kopya ng ABNKKBSNPLAko ni Bob Ong. Nabasa ko na yun. Ilang beses na. Salamat kay Popsie Saturno (oo, anak sya ni Vehnee Saturno). Hehehe...Miss ko na yung babaeng yun. Ang alam ko nabasa ko pa ata yun sa FX at umandar ang pagkamaldita ko dahil kahit may natutulog walang patid ang halakhak ko. Can relate kasi ng sobra...Hmmm..ano nga ba mga 'di ko makakalimutan noong estudyante pako?

Grade School:

---Grade Two.Sobrang kutuhin ako. Hindi lang kuto, lisa at kuyumad pa. Sasakalin ko ang kung sino mang maarteng magsasabing hindi sya nagkakuto noong bata. May classmate akong kulot na lagi akong inaapi at ayaw niya ako pahiramin ng suklay. Totoo nmang maganda ang buhok nya. Yun yata ang unang pagkakataong nalaman ko ang ibig sabihin ng "ganti". "Gaganti di ako sayo..." Minsan nakapila kami sa cashier. Nasa harap ko ang bruha. Ang ginawa ko...Kumuha ako ng lisa sa buhok ko at dahan-dahan kong nilagay sa buhok nya. Kinabukasan...nag-iiiyak sya dhel pinamumugaran na ng kuto ang kulot niyang buhok.

---Grade Two pa din. Siguro epekto din ng mga alaga kong lisa at naging papansin ako. Nag-imbento ako ng istorya na ako daw si Pink 5 ng Bioman. Ang mga uto-uto kong classmates, ewan ko ba at naniwala. Kunwari raw nagrerecruit ako ng bagong set ng Bioman. Ang kinalabasan..napadala ako sa Principal's Office. Sumalangit nawa ang kaluluwa ni Mr. Zaragosa.

---Grade 4. Ayan na. Dito na nagsimula ang mga "who is your crush?" na yan. Lintek, maaga ata akong napasabak sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Pinadalhan ko pa ng sulat yung crush ko at sinabi kong magkita kami sa likod ng gym. Nakipagkita nga sya sabay sabi ng "Sa susunod wag mo nako padadalhan ng sulat ha. Hindi kasi maganda tingnan." At nagmadaling umails. Hayup na yun!!! Muntik pa nman ako ihian ng palaka kakaintay sa kanya sa talahiban.

---Grade 5. Ah eto...matindi 'to. Hustler ako sa patintero at cops and robbers. Wala akong pakialam kung kinakain na ng sapatos ang medyas ko. Cyclops ang tukso sakin dati. Ang laki daw kasi ng mata ko. Nagpapatintero kami ng mga girls at nanonood ang mga kalalakihan. Napansin ko na lang nagtatawanan sila. Nakita ko may dinodrawing sila. Pag lapit ko ayun na nga...ako ang dnrawing nila. Babaeng malaki ang mata!! GRRR!! Uso pa nun ang taekwondo. Ang ginawa ko hinampas ko yung nagpasimuno sa ulo. Nakita ko na lang nanlisik ang mata nya at sinakal ako. Nagpagulong-gulong kami sa damuhan na nagsasakalan. Yun nman ang first time kong nakipag-wrestling sa lalaki. Naniniwala pa din ako na epekto pa rin yun ng mga kuto pero wala nako nun nalunasan ng suyod at 3 beses sa isang araw na paligo.. Aftermath siguro. Ang bunga...principal's office ulit! In fairness, naging friends naman na ulit kami ni Erwin Mosura...pagdating ng 4th year h.s.

---Grade 6. Gusto ko mabago nman ang image ko. Magpaka-teacher's pet kaya ako? Si Ms. Vicky Noquera ang adviser namin. Tropa na nga namin yun eh. Notorious ang class nmen noon. Grade 6 Yakal. Ako ang taga-pagmana ng arnis ni ma'am at buong puso kong hinahampas sa teacher's table habang sumisigaw ng "QUIET!!!". Ako ang taga-lista ng NOISY , N.I.P.S. (Not In Proper Seat) at Standing noon. Ako rin ang kanang kamay sa pagche-check ng test papers. Kaya hindi ko agad natanggap na hindi na ako ang nag-top 1 nung last quarter. Naging top 2 na lang ako. Nakapag-asawa kaya yun?

Ilan lang yan. Malungkot din nung grumaduate ako at lumipat ng ibang school. Sino ba naman ang mag-aakala na babalik pla ako sa alma matter ko nung 4th year at kakanta ulit ng "O Hail Hail Hail to thee...our dearest patron saint Saint James our alma matter.."

Next time na lang ang high school. Masyadong mahaba yun.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Sa sbrang kawalan nang magagawa nung rest day ko nauwi ako sa CSI and F.R.I.E.N.D.S. marathon. Busy-busyhan kasi ang mga friendships...Ayun na nga, namugto ang mata ko kasi natapos ko na ang CSI season 4 at 2 episodes na lang ang natitira sa FRIENDS season 6. Hindi pa nga bayad ang DVD player namin ni Cha bka any moment bumigay na sya. It's nice to know na meron na kming mga appliances ng bebe. She always calls them our "conjugal properties". Hehe..Then naisip ko tong kantang to..Super nice..

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE-BEACHBOYS

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Friday, January 21, 2005

10:30-10:45

10:30. Salamat, break ko na. Baba ako sa lung center para magyosi. Pinigilan ko na ang sarili kong bumili ng kape dahil nagiging tensyonado na ko. Sa elevator pa lang kung ano-ano na nasa isip ko. Quarter life crisis ika nga nila...

Bigla ko naalala nung minsan...Tumawag sa cel ko ang isa sa mga kaibigan kong minsan ko na lang makita. Malungkot daw sya..depressed (masyado nang inaabuso ang salitang 'to). Nakakatuwang isiping kahit madalang na lang kami magkita ako pa rin ang naisip nyang tawagan at sabihan ng mga hinanakit sa buhay.."Zara, eto na yata yun quarter life crisis.."

Ako nman si gaga sumagot ng, "Ha?!!Masyado pang maaga...Diba 22 ka palang..25 ang mga nagkakaron ng QUARTER life crisis.."

Hindi nman ako tanga. Gusto ko lang mapagaan ang loob nya.

Ngayon, malamang yun na din ang nararamdaman ko. Ako na mismo nagsabi sa sarili ko na masyado pang maaga. Masyado pa akong bata para mapag-isip. Anak ng tokwa!!! HINDE!!Magbe-beinte tres na ko ngayong taon na 'to! Bukas makalawa beinte singko na ko.

Gusto kong bumalik sa mga panahong ang inaasikaso ko lang ay kung pano ako papasa sa mga exams. Pano ko mailulusot ang kodigo sa Spanish. Pano maaalis ang stretch marks ko. Pano ko sisindakin si Sadako na nagsabing pangit daw ako. Pano makakuha ng pang-inom. Pano maaalis ang hang-over. Pano tatakas sa klase para magyosi sa Shakey's..

Gusto ko mang pigilan ang panahon, hindi pwede..Isa na sa mga pinakamatalik kong kaibigan ang kinasal nung kelan..marami pang darating..marami pang mangyayari. Handa na kaya ako?

Ang bilis talaga ng oras. Parang ngyon, 10:45 na. Tapos na ang break. Balik trabaho ulit.

"Kay bilis kasi ng buhay..pati tayo natangay.." Sugarfree 'Burnout'

Monday, January 17, 2005

Lugar: Sa park sa tapat ng Glorietta. Sa harap ng Oakwood.
Kaganapan: Nagpapaalis ng impacho pagkatapos kumain sa Triple V. Usapang buhay sinamahan ng yosi.
Tauhan: Ako
Mareng Chard
Ronnie

Chard: Nakakatuwa no? Sana babae.
Ako: Pero sana kung lalake, mahalin pa rin nila.
Ronnie: Kayo? May balak ba kayo magka-anak?
Chard: Oo naman. Gusto ko nga eh. Mare, yung panganay mo pwede akin na lang?
Ako: OK ka lang?! Ano yun tuta? Panganay pa talaga hiningi mo eh no? Ikaw Ronnie?
Ronnie: Syempre.
Ako: May balak kayo mag-asawa?
Chard: Ayoko. Gusto ko lang magka-anak.
Ronnie: Ako, di ko pa makita sarili ko. Pero 'di ko pa rin alam. Pano kayo ni Cha?
Ako: Syempre gusto ko makasal kami. Kaya lang khet naman magpakasal kami sa nagkakasal sa mga tulad natin parang hindi pa rin nman yun sapat diba? Hindi nman matatanggap completely ng lahat.
Ronnie: Pano kayo makaka-anak?
Ako: Artificial insemination kung kakayanin.
Chard: Shala talaga ng mare ko!!!
Ronnie: Buti pa nga kayo pwede gawin yun. Eh kami? Kung mag-aampon nman di ka pwede mamili. Zara, pag ba naisipan ko magkaanak o kaya maisipan ni Chard magka-anak pwede ikaw na lang nanay?
Ako: GAGA!!Ano ako babymaker?!! Chaka isipin nyo na lang kung ano kalalabasan! Maawa kyo sa bata!!
Ronnie: Haha!!!Kung hindi sbrang balbon, pango ang ilong at maitim!!!HAHAHA!!!
Chard: EEEWWW!!!Hindi ko maisip!Nakakadiri!!
Ako: Kilabutan nga kayo sa mga pinag-iiisip nyo ha!! Pero nakakalungkot no? Di bale, yung magiging anak namin anak nyo na rin. Tulungan nyo din ako sa gastos ha..hehe..
Ronnie: Tumatanda na talaga tayo. Anak na pinag-uusapan natin...Uwi na nga tayo.
Ako: Sa bahay ka na umuwi.
Ronnie: Masyadong hassle eh.
Chard: Eh gabi pa nman pasok mo bakla eh.
Ronnie: O sige basta ihatid mo ko sa Ayala mamaya. Promise mo bakla.
Chard: OO. Ihahatid kita sa Ayala. Tandaan mo ang sinabi ko. Ihahatid kita sa Ayala.
Ronnie: Bakla ha..Nag-promise ka..

Napangiti na lang ako. Alam ko na kung anong mangyayari. Ihahatid ni Chard si Ronnie kinabukasan hindi mamaya. Nautakan na nman ng bakla ang kapwa bakla.

Kahit walang anak...basta kasama ko ang mga kapwa ko bakla masaya na ako. Sino pa ba nman ang aasahan namin kundi ang isa't-isa. Basta pag nagka-anak ako para saming lahat na yun. At malamang ang kalabasan, bading din sya..OK lang. Eh di masaya!!

Friday, January 14, 2005

One of the few songs which I never get tired of listening to is "Stay" by Lisa Loeb. And the biggest reason is because it was included in the soundtrack of my all time favorite movie Reality Bites. I never liked Winona Ryder nor Ethan Hawke. It was actually Janine Garofalo who I truly adored. Not the usual striking and glamorous Hollywood star yet acting-wise, PANALO!!I'm still trying to sweep the whole of Ayala to find a pirated copy of the movie. I get to watch it again last Tuesday morning (thanks to...it was either HBO or Star Movies).

When reality bites, it bites you like there's no tomorrow..Ipagmumudmuran nito sa mukha mo na "Hoy, magising ka sa katotohanan..hindi ka kagandahan!" hehe...Mganda rin nmang minsang nakukurot ka ng buhay at nang makpagnilay-nilay ka sa mga bagay-bagay.

"Reality Bites" was a perfect specimen of how reality bit the actors. Winona Ryder who was then a big name in the business is now branded as the "shoplifter" of the century. Ethan Hawke who made girls swoon is now nowhere to be found. On the other hand, Ben Stiller who was just the "other guy" in the movie is now earning millions of dollars from producing and of course acting. AND, AND, AND, the greatest of all... Renee Zellweger who was just a mere "extra" in that movie is now an award-winning actress who's being paid to gain weight for her films. (Taena, pag ako binabayaran pra magpataba ang saya siguro ng buhay!).

Hay buhay nga nman...Sabi nga ni Geng.."Kapit lang, mare"
Darating din tayo dun...Maglalakad din tayo sa red carpet at kakaway sa mga fans at tatanggap ng tropeo...Hayyy...

Ayan, ginulat na nman ako ng realidad..eto pa rin ako at kayod kalabaw. Kapit lang...

Trivia Ive learned from the movie: Evian is naive spelled backwards.

Wala lang.

NOSTALGIA

Amoy ulam ako ngayon. I had my dinner at the newly-opened Ministop just across our building. Bigla ko naalala ang naging buhay ko sa ABS-CBN compound. Kahit puro kapalpakan ang nangyari sken doon, I gained lotsa friends. I miss them terribly. Matagal-tagal nang 'di nalamnan ang sikmura ko ng alcohol sa madaling-araw. Kahit 'di ako masyadong gutom pinilit kong kumain ng 1pc chicken meal ang fried wanton. Masaya na malungkot. Wala sila sa tabi ko para sabihing, "Hoy Zara, may bukas pa...Wag masyadong masiba." Kamusta na kaya sila?

Kelangan ko ng tumigil sa pagyoyosi. Sayang lang ang vitamins at kung ano-ano pang nilalagay ko sa mukha.

Wala na nmang patutunguhan 'to...Amoy ulam pa rin ako...Shet.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Bukas hindi na ganito..

Minsan lang sa buong buhay ko ako nakakaramdam ng ganito. Siguro dahil pilit kong inililihis ang utak ko kapag iyon na ang naiisip nito. Hindi pa siguro ako lubusang handa at hindi kailanman magiging handa. Saan na nga ba ako tutungo? Ano ang plano ko sa buhay?
Nakagisnan na ng mga tao sa paligid ko na hindi ako nagpapaapekto sa bilis ng takbo ng panahon, sa daloy ng bawat segundong dumaraan..Natatabunan ng bawat tawa at halakhak ang takot at pag-aalinlangang nararamdaman ko. Maraming nagsabing hanga sila sa pagdadala ko sa buhay...Ang hindi nila alam ako ang yumuyuko at sumusuko rito...Mahirap at nakakatakot isiping sa dami ng mga taong nakahalubilo, nakasalamuha at nakasama ko...minahal, inaruga at pinagkatiwalaan...tatanda at mamatay din akong mag-isa..Nakakatakot...
Sana bukas paggising ko bumalik na ang dating Zara...o baka nman ako talaga 'to..nagpupumilit nang lumabas at magpakilala.
Ayoko.

Monday, January 10, 2005

hay..haba ha..

I always wake up at 4 in the afternoon during weekends. But not last Sunday. I wanted to watch ASAP because it had been 6 straight weeks that I had not seen Jericho Rosales. I heard from my lucky, LUCKY friend, Cora, that he cut his hair short. Share ko lang ang experience nya:

Cora is a "Kapamilya". She works for MMK, specifically. They had an episode last year and Jericho was the lead star. When we met at a friend's house she excitedly told me her "kilig" moment with Jericho which indeed made me jealous to the bones.

Cora: (concerned coz Echo was sick at that time) Sige po, pahinga nlang po muna kyo. Twagin ko nlang kyo pag shoot na.

Jericho: Talaga?

Cora: Opo! (enthusiastic kc kinikilig)

Jericho: Sige. Thanks. I love you.

Cora: (pabulong) I love you, too.

Malaking HMP!!! Hindi ko yun kinaya...Tapos tinanong nya ko kung gusto ko raw "umextra" for that episode..and...and... I WOULD HAVE A SCENE WITH ECHO!!!Jusko...The last time I saw him in person, natulala lang ako sabay sabi ng "Pwede ba magpapicture?".
"Kahit walang bayad, OK lang. Khet ano pagawa nyo saken. Kung kinakailangang lumuhod ako sa asin at magcartwheels pagkatapos OK lang. Sabihin mo agad at ng mkapag file nako ng leave."
"Pero 'di pa yun sure ha..bka kc may nkuha ng iba. Kung meron na tambay ka nalang sa shoot."
Ganyan ako kabaliw sa lalaking yan. Mas grabe pa kesa nung panahon ni Eric Fructuoso. Hehe. Wala kong pakialam sa sa2bihin ng iba. Khet isinumpa nako ng mga walangya kong kaibigan dhel sa mga kahihiyang idinulot ko sa kanila. GRRR!!!
To cut this short, hindi natuloy ang supposed-to-be time of my life dahil hindi na raw pwede i-cancel ang mga nakuha na nilang talents. Punyeta. Nagpractice pa nman ako. So I just decided to go to work..
Going back nung Sunday...Ayun na nga. Ang totoo nyan dpat nagmadali nako dhel pu2nta kmi ng Greenhills pra bilhan ng regalo si Mareng Chard. Wala pa din si Echo..siyet. Nabwisit nako kakaintay, nilipat ko nalang sa ETC. Paalis na dpat kmi when I felt the urge to change the channel back to ABS-CBN. ASAP Fanatic na and Hunks were singing a very pathetic song ksma ng mga nahuhumaling na makapasok sa showbiz.
"Tara na, wala si Jericho jan. Gagabihin na tyo." at bigla nman nagselos ang Cha. hehe... (joke lang bebe)
"Mare, mahiya ka nga sa mga kapitbahay. Nagtititili ka na nman. Hay naku, iwanan na nga yan."
And then I saw him...kalahati nga lang ng mukha niya. Tinakluban kasi ni Carlos. Nyeta. Hayy...wala ko masabi.Kasi tumili na lang ako.
At syempre kulang na lang maalis ang mga eyeballs ng mga kasama ko sa kakarolyo ng mga mata nila. Care ko...at least kinikilig ako..Masarap kya kiligin dba?

Monday, January 10, 2005

Nyetang buhay 'to o.Minsan talga tatamaan ka ng sbra2ng kamalasan. I had to wake up 3 hours earlier pra samahan si Cha sa kung san2 at ipa-check ang iPod nya. 'Di ko kc maintindihan ang mga tao. May walkman nman at radyo , di pa nakuntento . Nag-imbento pa ng pagkaliit2 na bgay na pwedeng magkarga ng libo2ng kanta. Heller?!!!
Tpos wla pla akong masu2ot eh 1pm pa pwede magdeliver ng laundry. In short, I had to get my clothes from the laundry shop. Pagkatapos maligo at magbihis, derecho na kmi sa glorietta. Una sa ambassador (park square 1), tpos sa Apple Center (Greenbelt 1), tpos sa Palm One (Glorietta, Digital Exchange). Imagine kung gano kalayo ang mga yun?!!! Ako nman nagmaganda. Monday kc so formal. Eto't nka off-shoulder and super pointed shoes na pinanlakad ko na nman sa buong Ayala Center. Naalala ko wla pla akong dalang coat so syempre dhel sa nagandahan nman ako sa poncho na nkasabit sa citywalk, binili ko na rin. SIyet!! Nagpaltos na nman daliri ko sa paa. Naglalakihang kalyo na. Taena!!! Makukuha kya silang alisin ng Nivea?
'Di nman ako nagrereklamo dhel sinamahan ko si Cha. Bukal sa loob ko..(yes, what a term). Pero nman ksi...Ang laki ng Ayala Center ikumpara mo nman sa liit ng iPod. Yung laking yun eh kelangan kong tahakin sa ngalan ng isang bagay na kahit hintuturo ko lang e pwede ko ng buhatin. Nakakainis ang mga taong nag-iimbento ng mga ganyan. Sabi ko na tama lang na hindi sbra kaalaman ko sa teknolohiya..
Pero in fairness, ang galing pla ng iPod ha..may calendar pa.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Pantapal sa mukha aka moisturizer (thanks to the soon to be multi-awarded Hollywood actress)

Thanks Geng for writing all the stuff about how we should definitely use moisturizers. Napagnilaynilayan ko ang mga bagay-bagay. I woke up one morning and stared at my face in the mirror. I was horrified to find out that wrinkles were beginning to form what seemed like the map of the Philippines. I had never been concerned about my skin. Sabi ko ksi lagi sa sarili ko "Yan ang advantage ng kulay mo sa iba...hindi madaling makita ang blemishes and wrinkles." The hell!!! Eh kita pa din eh..

I rushed to Rustan's Supermarket with Cha to use the gift certificate I won last New Year's Eve raffle. I stood in front of the stall with all kinds of moisturizers waiting to be chosen so they can prove their existence. My eyes focused on the stack of Nivea moisturizers. I was greatly influenced by Gengkukay. HAHA!! I was contemplating on which I should buy. Either Nivea Cream which I thought was the "old school" one (yun nasa lata pa) or Nivea Soft Moisturizer. I read the back of the package where one usually sees stuff like "making your skin look and feel young...". I made up my mind and just took Nivea soft moisturizer. Cute kasi yun lalagyan. Yun isa ksi parang pangmatanda na. I then checked the price. Sowsmaryosep!! Hindi pala basta2 presyo ng mga 'to!! Panapal lang sa mukha daan-daan na ang presyo! Cha saw me trying to make up my mind if I should buy it or not. She was doing her own shopping too.

She then told me, "Bakit hindi na lang to bilhin mo? Firming pa sya..."
"Eh mas mahal yan eh."
"Ano ka ba? Bilhin mo na. Ako na bahala."

The usual Cha who wouldn't mind paying for everything...that's how generous she is. Yun ang prob sa kanya. Pero pag ako bilhan ko lang sya ng favorite nyang pumuputok na candy (hindi ko alam ano talaga tawag. Basta pag bumibili ako, "Ate 2 nga nung pumuputok na candy sa bibig.") nagagalit na agad. Bat daw ako gumagastos na naman. HMP!!

"Ayoko. Ako magbabayad. Chaka ayoko ng firming hindi nman puwet ang mukha ko pra i-firm."

I wasn't aware that "firming" also applies to our faces.

I went to the cashier to pay for everything. I left Cha to finish what she was doing. I went back to her and found out that she was shopping for me AGAIN. Grrr!! Kung ano-ano na nman nasa basket nya. Chips Ahoy, concentrated calamansi juice, fresh milk, Planters Cheese Curls, Philadelphia Cream Cheese etc.

"O, eh ano na naman yan?"
"Eh kasi may sakit ka, kelangan mo magkakakain."
"Babayaran ko lahat yan. Ang hirap mo talaga kausap. Sabi ko ng wag mo nako bilan ng kung ano-ano eh."
"Ehh...Basta."

Nivea moisturizer lang nman ang pakay kong bilhin eh. Para gumanda nman ang kutis ko. Ngayon hindi lang kutis ang problema ko, pati tuloy katabaan dhel sa mga pinagbibili nyang pagkain. Hay buhay...

P.S. to Ger (meron bang gnun)
Gustuhin ko man mag-add din ng comment sayo lagi nalang nagqquit "Unexpectedly" ang internet. Bastos na yun!!!Di man lang ako binibigyan ng warning...Salamat sa suporta, Ger...Mag-chinese garter tyo minsan.hehe..

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I was BLOG-SURFING (uy, new term) a while ago. I realized one really OBVIOUS thing. My account sucks big time!!! Sobrang namangha ako sa accounts ng iba. Sabi ni Baleleng mapapaganda ko nman to kung interesado talaga ko matuto. Eh pucha pag tinitingnan ko plang nahihilo nako kung ano uunahin ko. Hanggang sa tinititigan ko nlang lhat. DUH? As if may magbabago? Interesado nman ako eh. Siguro dpat bumili nlang ako ng bagong diary at doon ko nalang ibuhos lhat.

OK lang khet bobo talga ko sa computer. Master nman ako ng pick up sticks and chinese garter. Bitter?

Monday, January 03, 2005

Ang ganti ng mga ALIMANGO

My Mareng Chard arrived from Mindanao with 7 live and literally kicking crabs last Saturday. Sobrang natuwa pako kc may pangalan ni Chard bawat kanto ng box. Parang ayaw talga mawala ng mom nya un padala. Mawala na anak nya wag lang ang mga alimango. Sunday night, I received a txt message from Dar: "Zara, wag ka kumain sa labas. Kakainin na natin un alimango."
"OK. Sana bilisan nyo at kumakalam na sikmura ko."
After 1 hour and 45 minutes, Dar and Chard arrived sabay sabi ng "O Zara, magluto ka na.."
Ang mga mahal kong kaibigan..TSK3!!
We just "steamed" the crabs. While they were watching MYX and criticizing the super maarteng VJ Heart, I stood there in front of the gas stove staring at the crabs as they slowly turn orange. "Kawawa nman tong mga nilalang na to..Mamaya-maya lang lalantakan na nmen kyo..At least nkarating kayo ng Maynila diba?"
We devoured the crabs with our bare hands. That was one of the best meals I had recently. Tinalo pa ang mga Xmas parties. Ang sarap pa ng suka na may pinitpit na bawang at may konting asin!!Astig!Masyado ko na-overwhelm sa aligue at nkaubos nako ng isa't-kalahati. Then I realized, may allergies nga pla ko sa seafoods. Piling seafoods and crabs are one of them. Shit.

Pagtingin ko sa salamin ayan na...pula na ang mga mata ko at gusto ko na dukutin dhel sa sbrang kati. Thanks to the fresh milk Cha bought me. It served as an antihistamine.

feeling ko tuloy naghiganti ang mga alimango sa kasibaan ko. hindi nako uulit...ay, hindi rin..hehe..

New Year

I HAD to spend the New Year's Eve at the office. As if I had a choice . The New Year's Countdown Party here in Makati was a perfect example of the "near yet so far" thing . We let out our "oohs" and "aahhs" as we sadly look at the flamboyant fireworks display of the city through our windows. To curse our "bloody callers" was not enough. Gusto ko na lang sabihin sa kanilang, "Mga hayup kyo!!Wala ba kyong mga buhay at New Year's eve eh tumatwag kyo at nagpapaestablish ng PIN?!!"

So to help me not mind the time I copied and pasted (Im beginnning to like saying those words) the blogs of Gengkukay to..shit I dont know the right terms to use..basta sa outlook ng opisina. It's a mortal sin to visit external sites here at the office. So I used my breaks to go to my favorite place, the recreational area, where anyone can have his share of friendster and blogs to the fullest. Enough about how I got a copy of my dear friend's blog. In the midst of british accents and complaints about messed-up reservations, I let out my full-force mala-kontrabida laugh as I read how Geng fainted in SM Fairview. Her one hell of an experience really made my day or should I say night (sorry Geng..).The love of my life, who was just seated right beside me grumbled how fake my laugh was AGAIN. "Ang plastic talaga ng tawa mo!"

That brought me into thinking what my New Year's resolution should be:

"Try as in TRY to have an honest to goodness LAUGH!"

This will be just an exception since I dont believe in resolutions.

Friday, December 31, 2004

I really dont know why I tried this. Perhaps, I just want something new, something anybody who knows me will surely think i wont do such a thing. Very unZARAlike. Am i making sense.Probably not.--->Uy, gusto magkaron ng psychological effect..HAHA!!

well, to start with..I can picture the smirks on the faces of some people I know sabay sbi nilang "Zara, ikaw ba yan?"hehe.. Ano nga ba tawag dito ulit? I just copied and pasted a link that I saw from one of my friendsters and voila! Xanga ang lumabas. Kung ano2 lang pnagcclick ko til I saw myself creating my own Blog??--did i use the term correctly?My sincere apologies if not..

Nung nagsaboy si God ng skills pagdating sa computer nagbukas ako ng payong pangsangga kasi akala ko melanin pa din yun sinasaboy nya eh. Ayan tuloy..khet un 'html' di ko lam ano ibig sbihin. Chka pano ba gmitin un xanga skin ba yun? chka kung ano2 pa.

In conclusion, these are the times when I would really miss the good old days when kids just scatter on the floor with their coloring books and drawing materials, when teenagers lay on their beds writing on their diaries (aminin nyo may susi at lock pa yun) about the love of their lives..Seems time just passes you by..I guess it's time for me to accept reality that life is not as simple as it was before. The hell! Lumayo na nman dahil lang sa Xanga.

AND THE BOTTOMLINE is kelangan ko matutunan gumawa nitong BLOG na ito.

P.S.
Sa lhat ng may mabuting puso..tulungan nyo nman akong payamanin ang BLOG na ito. --still not sure if used the term correctly. I will always be open to criticisms and opinions.

Last Wednesday

2005-04-01T14:27:00.000+08:00

I spent my 1st rest day of the week with my good friend Liz. I went to Glorietta to meet her, had coffee at Starbucks then bought food to last the whole night. For sure kasi, wala kaming pagkain sa bahay. I missed her. She is one of the few people who understand the Zara who is a big fan of celebrities. I can squeal with utmost delight, tell my super kilig encounters with my celebrity crushes, daydream endlessly, and still she manages to keep up with my madness. Well, THAT we have in common. We have a thing for celebrities. We are greatly intrigued by their lifestyles. I animatedly brought back to life my unforgettable moment with Luis Alandy (yup, the yummy hunkable god-like ex-boyfriend of Desiree). People started staring at us. Gusto ko sana sila sabihang .."Hu, if I know, nakikinig talaga kayo!"

Well, it was not that big a deal. I just had a picture with him. (Taken by Geng, thanks Mare!). But then again, being a FAN, I freaked out and said words any proper lady won't dare say. OK lang, I had fun.

Anyway, I brought Liz to my place. We planned to watch CSI for the night. But then I got the once in a lifetime urge to clean our kitchen using the DUCK stain remover I just bought. So I put on my sportsbra and started making gigil to the yellowish, kalawanging stain of our lababo. After an hour of sweating like a pig, I decided to put an end to it. Pagod nako.

I need to mention this...We ate Magnolia Classic Vanilla ice cream with Hershey's Strawberry Syrup on top and MAN!!!! It was awesome!! Piece of heaven, I must say! Nanumbalik ang pagmamahal ko sa Magnolia. Thanks to LIz for making me buy that instead of the Heart chuvanes of Selecta.

We watched CSI from 11PM to 5AM, non-stop. Well, I certainly enjoyed my rest day. Good food, good show, and of course, good company.

I MISS "THE DUNGEON"!!!!!=)

Noon at Ngayon

2005-03-29T19:40:00.000+08:00

NOON

Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko tuwing sasapit na ang Mahal na Araw. Masaya dahil nagkakasama kaming magpipinsan. Magtataguan, maghahabulan tapos kakain ng papaitan. Kelangan mahina lang ang tawanan namin kundi lagot! Pagagalitan kami at pasasabayin sa "Pabasa", kakanta ng "Noong namatay si Hesus...", pag napaos pasisipsipin ng luya na may kalamansi. AARGGHH!! Nakakainip dahil bawal ang TV. Eh kahit naman pwede wala ring mapapanood. Wala pang cable noon. Ang mapapanood mo taon-taon ay si Ate Guy at ang walang kamatayang "Walang Himala!!!!". Bawal naman mag-family computer dahil talagang 'di namin maiwasan ang mapasigaw sa Elevator Man. Panlilisikan kami ng mata ng mga 'elders' at sasabihang "Patay si Hesus..". Excited naman ako kung minsan kasi malaki ang chance na magpunta kami sa beach. Pero siguradong hindi sa Biyernes Santo. Bata pa ako noon. Tahimik ang lahat. Taimtim na nagdadasal ang mga tao. Mararamdaman mo pati sa simoy ng hangin ang Mahal na Araw..

NGAYON

Oo, double pay nga. Mas malaki ang kikitain. May pasok kami noong Huwebes at Biyernes Santo. Hindi ko naman masasabing linggo-linggo ay nagsisimba ako o matuturing akong isang huwarang Kristyano pero noong mga panahon na yun bigla akong napaisip...Eto na nga marahil ang dulot ng pera sa buhay ng nakararami ngayon. Nakalimutan na ang mga nakagawian. Isang bagay na ang pumasok sa opisina tuwing Linggo pero pati ba nman sa araw na namatay Sya?

Pati naman ako nagpaapekto. Tumambay sa bahay namin si Ronnie at Darwin nung Sabado. Wala kaming magawa nung una kundi magkuwentuhan. Ako, si Cha, Chard, Ronnie at Dar. Napagtripan na ituro saken ni Ronnie ang steps ng Chocolate (as popularized by the 2nd batch of Starstruck) at Choopeta (dance steps of Sexbomb). Nanakit na ang tyan ko kakatawa. Naging joke na nga lang samin na.."Huy, wag kya tyo mag-ingay. Patay si Lord". Pagkatapos, tumuloy kami sa Megamall. Kumain sa Triple-V at nagkape sa Seattle's Best. Dati-rati kahit Black Saturday na wala pa rin laman ang malls. Nagulat ako kasi halos walang pinagkaiba sa ordinaryong araw ang Mega. Habang umiinom ng kape tsaka namin napag-usapan ang mga 'to. Nahiya kami sa mga sarili namin. Ano nang nangyayari? Unti-unti na ba talagang natatabunan ang nakagisnan nating mga Pilipino? Handa akong tumanggap ng pagbabago. Walang kaso sakin yun. Pero nakakalungkot isiping baka sa mga susunod pang Mahal na Araw tuluyan nang mawalan ng bakas ng Kristiyano ang bawat isa sa atin.

Marahil para sa sarili ko na rin ito..patama kumbaga...dahil sa mga nagdaang taon, idineklara kong agnostiko ako.

of tabo and paliligo

2005-03-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Last week my back snapped (for lack of a good term to use) while I was taking a bath..thus began my story...Ng dahil sa tabo at mainit na tubig nauwi ako sa paggastos ng tumataginting na 1,700 pesos!!! I went to the emergency room of Makati Medical Center with my Mareng Chard after experiencing shooting pains up and down my spine. It really concentrated on my lower back. Any slight movement was terribly excruciating. Anyway, after texting all my med rep friends asking if they know any good ortho who won't charge me big time, I ended up going to the ER coz I really cant bear the agony any longer. They checked my blood pressure and temperature, asked me the usual stuff. Funny part was when they asked me if I'm married and the nurse looked at Mareng Chard and without waiting for my answer encirlced NO on the sheet..hehe..=) Then a consultant (who I think was still a resident), asked me the same questions. when did that happen? how do you feel? Damn!!I thought nurses took down notes!! I'm in terrible pain and you ask me the same questions over and over again?!! They sent me to the X-ray dept, made me lay on that cold machine with nothing but a piece of cloth. My butt was literally peeping through it. After waiting for almost an hour, the results came in. It was just musculoskeletal strain caused by sudden movements or carrying heavy things. She advised me to take Bextra 40mg once a day which I can get for free from July, my preggy yet still beautiful as ever friend. OK, so I needed to go to the billing dept. I only had 1500 pesos in my wallet at that time. "Ma'am 1695 pesos po". Muntik nako himatayin sa presyo!!! Napalunok nalang ako at napasabi ng "Pwede magwithdraw lang sandali kulang ksi pera ko eh." I looked at the bill, it said 600 pesos ER fee. Goodness, what help did the ER give me? They took my temperature and blood pressure for what??? What pissed me off big time was the fact that i can just get the med they advised me to take for free!!! I mean, it was not really a big deal. I have a job. I earn money. But how about the other half of the Philippine population who cant even eat three times a day? Who has no way of stretching their budget to pay for their hospital bills? How cruel and unfair life can be?
Mahirap pala talga magkasakit. Lintek na tabo yan.

FIRST

2005-03-12T04:27:00.000+08:00

So this is my first entry. Yes, Im again trying to pursue my dreams of having a decent blog account. The last time I did this I was on the verge of throwing the Mac computer of our office and stomp on it. I hate computers...then why the heck am I doing this? Well, I'm a self-confessed narcissist. I wanna see my pictures posted on the web. Haha!! I hate HTMLs, templates and stuff. I must admit though, blogspot is a whole lotta easier to use compared to Xanga. No offense to Xanga users. I even look up to you guys coz you are able to manage your account..meaning you're a computer wizard! So my prob now is how to have a link of my Xanga account. Another, I need a decent template. Also, I wanna have links to my friends.

Anyways, I would like to thank Baleleng for her endless patience...sya pa nga nagsign-up for me dito sa blogspot so she knows my password. She has the power to ruin this and say cruel things about me!!!HAHA!! I know she won't do it. I trust her. To all of you, PATULONG sa paggawa at pagpapaganda nito.

Baleleng, I still need you...my sexy, beautiful tutor!